The phrase “respect your elders” conveys the idea that younger generations should show respect, deference, and civility to their superiors. This is a worldwide cultural norm and is found in societies with traditional values to show respect for people with more presumed wisdom. However, when seniors become vulnerable and require help with daily activities, the meaning behind the phrase seems to dissipate.

Whatever our age, this concept is important, because we all have loved ones who will eventually need constant care. Ultimately, all of us will, too. Currently, growing old can be a sad and debilitating experience, and despite advancements in society, this is still the scary truth – a truth that could be improved with volunteer opportunities, encouraging intergenerational living, and stricter employment policies.

One of the hardest parts of moving into a nursing home is running the risk of getting care from people who are overworked, are not held accountable, or are not properly trained. According to a 2017 study published in the academic journal PLOS One, “The cumulative probability of maintaining functional capacity in institutionalized older adults was only 44% at the two-year follow-up. Prognostic factors for functional decline included severe cognitive impairment, continence decline, and incidence of hospitalizations.”

Although many of these issues arise from the lack of empathy from the employees, they also stem from the people in management. In an interview with the Hartford Courant, Toby Edelman, a senior policy attorney for the Center for Medicare Advocacy, stated, “Most of the bad outcomes are the result of insufficient staffing and insufficiently trained staff. It’s pretty much a universal problem.” As someone who works in the emergency department of a well-known hospital, it is easy enough to come up with a few examples of how unethical healthcare professionals can be. I’ve personally witnessed the emotional stress on someone’s face after the doctor brings up that it might be time to explore the option of a nursing facility. Many people forget that assisted living or nursing homes aren’t the only option for care, and they should consider some traditions of other cultures.

The most effective way of overcoming most issues regarding elderly care is intergenerational living, which refers to the practice of multiple generations – grandparents, parents, and children – residing in a single home or small community. This is a common way of living in India, China, Japan, and Korea, as these cultures believe it promotes family cohesion and mutual support.

Intergenerational living is beneficial to the family as it eliminates the need for payment and the risk of abusive care by facilities that supposedly specialize in elderly care. Karin Krause, a UW-Madison School of Nursing alumna and founder and executive director of the nonprofit Hope and a Future, supports the claim that nursing homes do not allow patients to thrive. “We created facilities that keep people safe, so they survive, but they don’t really thrive,” she says. Rapid decline is a real issue in assisted living facilities, and it causes people to live shorter and less happy lives. As Krause says, “Just because you have dementia or physical frailty does not mean that you don’t want to continue to grow.” Continuing to grow is what is encouraged by people of all ages living together; where the elderly are able to interact with their grandchildren and watch their own family flourish.

“Working with older adults helps youth improve their communication skills, develop new and lasting friendships, and gives them an appreciation and positive attitude toward aging.”

Although intergenerational living may seem like the best answer, sometimes it’s just not possible for families to be around frequently enough to care for their relatives, which leaves room for other people to step in and help. College students are always looking for volunteer opportunities to improve their resumes, therefore using these students to provide companionship to the elderly is ideal. According to the Centers For Disease Control and Prevention, “Social isolation was associated with about a 50% increased risk of dementia.” Volunteering could not only assist with the prevention of conditions like dementia, but it has the potential to promote the monitoring and reporting of abusive care, education of the elderly, and additionally program development. Moreover, something as little as talking about the joys of life with a senior citizen can increase their motivation and happiness by an unimaginable amount. In an article titled “Benefits Of Inter-Generational Programming and Volunteering” in Maplewood Senior Living, Jon Haring writes, “Many older adults also report their desire to continue learning, especially when it comes to changes and new innovations in technology. As younger adults are typically very tuned in to these technological advances, they make for great trainers or teachers of technology for their older counterparts. Engaging in programs with younger people also keeps the older adults more physically active and able as well as mentally sharp.” It has been shown that schools with students who volunteer at nursing homes have higher reading test scores and are often less likely to skip school. In the same article, Haring writes that, “Working with older adults helps youth improve their communication skills, develop new and lasting friendships, and gives them an appreciation and positive attitude toward aging.” This not only benefits the elderly but also the volunteers themselves. Since volunteering could assist in areas such as providing insight into the quality of care being provided it would allow for a safer environment for the elderly.

Much of the problem surrounding the subject of the elderly is the under-recognition of multiple types of abuse. People claim that nursing homes aren’t that bad, when in reality, they just haven’t seen what happens inside the walls of some facilities. In an article by the organization Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network (RAINN), it is stated that “Even with mandatory reporting laws, elder abuse is believed to be an underreported crime.” Reasons for this underreporting are lack of mental or physical ability, fear of retaliation from the abuser, fear of being placed in an institution, or feeling ashamed. Coworkers also fail to report important behaviors due to the fear of losing their job. This disproves the argument that elderly abuse is fictional, as it is only just covered up. Furthermore, it’s a topic that has earned its right to have widespread awareness as to what people are getting their loved ones into.

Unfortunately, in today’s world, care for the elderly is suffering; ways we could fix this include volunteer opportunities, encouraging intergenerational living, and stricter employee policies. This is an important issue to everyone, as we are all going to be old one day and why should being retired be just as stressful as holding down a job? Not just this related stress but also the abusive nature of nursing homes should be exposed and addressed. While I don’t mean to make people scared of getting old, we should be concerned for our parent’s future, as they were for ours.