Jennifer Hafele an International Board Certified Lactation Consultant in Eau Claire. (Submitted photo)

Lactating parents, I see you. 

I recognize how hard you are working.

And if you are struggling, I’m willing to bet it’s in one of these three areas. In any of the following scenarios, you likely know instinctually that something is “off” somewhere. You may not know where; you just know your baby is miserable, and so are you. 

1. Breast- or bottle-feeding is difficult, not getting easier, yet you’ve been led to believe what you’re experiencing is “normal.” Maybe ... Your baby chomps at breast rather than suckling. They are on-off-on-off ALL. DAY. LONG. And all night long, too. Your poor nipples can’t get a break, and they are constantly sore, despite your knowledge that breastfeeding shouldn’t hurt. Band-Aid solutions like nipple shields and creams are not cutting it.

Maybe … Your baby is gassy, fussy, and uncomfortable most of the time. Feeding, whether at breast or bottle, may be an ongoing battle. Sleep might be all but impossible for your baby, and thus for you.

Maybe … Your baby is not gaining sufficient weight, but no one notices it’s off track until later. You are then told you must supplement with formula, without knowing why or if that’s true. It feels like you have no choices.

You need someone willing to listen, believe you, and offer workable solutions with empathetic expertise.

“Throwing things at the wall to see what sticks” is not a strategy that works for your nipples or your milk supply; you are left stressed out and in pain.

2. Pumping is painful, ineffective, and insufficient to meet your baby’s milk intake need. Current information surrounding breast pumps is unreliable at best. The internet tells you 75 different outdated things, pump company marketers tell you something else, and your healthcare team may have little training on pumps and proper flange sizing. 

“Throwing things at the wall to see what sticks” is not a strategy that works for your nipples or your milk supply; you are left stressed out and in pain.

You need knowledge and empowerment about what your specific body needs so you can be successful pumping. This allows you to decide how long you want to lactate and feed your child human milk, rather than feeling like the decision has been made for you.

3. Bottle difficulties for your baby. Is your baby … refusing a bottle entirely, or unable to bottle-feed successfully despite your efforts? You’ve spent a ridiculous amount of money on different bottles, and still nothing is working. 

Is your baby … taking way more milk by bottle when separated from you than the amount you are pumping in the same amount of time? You have incredible anxiety about returning to work and trying to keep up with baby’s needs.

Is your baby … unwilling to continue feeding at breast after they’ve gotten used to a bottle? Baby being bottle-fed in a way that undermines breastfeeding means you might have little or no control over this outcome.

You need expert assistance ASAP to determine what’s going on, why, and how to reverse these emerging trends. 

The good news is, there is hope!

You can … Learn and advocate for yourself and your baby, prenatally and postpartum.

You can … Identify reliable information and sources that take you closer to your goals rather than farther away.

You can … Seek out providers committed to education and excellence, ones who prioritize the latest trainings on things like pump flange sizing, research on infant oral restrictions, and more.

You are the hero in your own lactation journey, my friend. 

There is hope. There is a plan. There is a team for you. Keep looking until you find all three!

Jennifer Hafele, M.Ed., IBCLC, is an International Board Certified Lactation Consultant in private practice based in Eau Claire. “Mama Bear” herself, Jennifer owns Mama Bear Family Care and offers in-home, in-office, and telehealth services. Jennifer and her growing team provide childbirth education, lactation consulting, gentle infant sleep coaching, and parenting support.

Learn more about Jennifer and the Mama Bear team at mamabearfamilycare.com.