“I’m a simple man. I like pretty, dark-haired women and breakfast food.” This iconic Parks and Recreation quote applies directly to my life; I married an absolute smoke-show of a woman, and I truly believe that breakfast food is physical proof that there is a higher power out there, and it's probably made of eggs and hash browns. 

I LOVE a good burrito.

Specifically, a breakfast burrito. However, as a vegetarian, my options are often limited. So, I took it upon myself to find the best vegetarian-friendly breakfast burrito in the Chippewa Valley (in my opinion), dubbing this endeavor “Burrito Quest,” to make it sound cooler than it is.

We’ll be using the Scott Fauble Burrito Rating Scale for this endeavor. Scott Fauble is the eighth-fastest marathon runner in U.S. history and also the founder of the “Burrito Mafia” – the Don Burrito, if you will. On this scale, all ratings start at 10/10 because all burritos are perfect; they can only get better from there. Here are my Burrito Quest findings thus far:

1. The Cranky Buzzard – Jackfruit Breakfast Burrito (smothered, add jalapeños) 

Alright y’all … this was a genuine good ol’ burrito. This is the first one I found with a true meat/protein substitute, and I’m all for it. The jackfruit was a biiiit on the sweet side, but adding jalapeños helps balance that out. 14/10.

The Cranky Buzzard (409 Galloway St., Eau Claire).

2. Silly Serrano Mexican Restaurant – Veggie Breakfast Burrito

Filling distribution was on point for this burrito, and it had an incredible wrap job. No delicious foodstuffs were lost due to a sloppy tortilla and/or things falling apart, making this a wonderful travel burrito. 12/10.

Silly Serrano Mexican Restaurant (2006 Cameron St., Eau Claire).

3. Fast Fuel Fresh Grill & Juice Lounge – Breakfast Burrito (no meat)

This was a super simple yet super delicious burrito. Just what you need, nothing you don’t. Plus, they fry the eggs and build it right in front of you. It’s like breakfast burrito hibachi. 11.5/10.

Fast Fuel (329 Water St., Eau Claire).

4. The French Press – Southwest Veggie Wrap

The French Press’s burrito is the only one so far on my quest to feature avocado. No one here is complaining, though. Nice presentation. 11/10.

The French Press (2823 London Rd., Eau Claire).

5. EC/DC – Fajita Veggie Wrap

The chipotle sauce in this bad boy was fire (pun intended). EC/DC has, like, four variations on this burrito to fit a variety of dietary needs, so kudos for that. Plus, throwing a burrito in a panini press is an underrated move. 11/10.

EC/DC (205 S. Barstow St., Eau Claire).