My inner nerd wonders about strange things … but what else would an inner nerd wonder about?

Now I’m not a Godzilla fan, but I am familiar with the basis of the franchise. A gigantic, dinosaur-like monster emerges from the sea to wreak havoc upon various cities (what else would a dinosaur-monster do?) in Japan. While the key dramatic tension is how this archetypal antagonist also manages to be the protagonist, the reason that most become obsessed is clear: sheer obliteration.

It’s so egocentric for the filmmakers to assume he only wants to destroy Japan (with New York being Tristar’s generic exception) when there is a whole world for him to romp. I wonder whether or not Eau Claire is large enough for Godzilla. I mean, we’ve been making splashes in all kinds of national media, we have several distinct districts, including a sizeable downtown area, and our population is almost 65,000 as of July 2007.

It’s true that we’re 150 miles from Lake Superior, the nearest large body of water, but almost nothing stands in between. Godzilla could simply sidestep the towns of Superior and Chippewa Falls. He could emerge from, say, Chequamegon Bay (what other name for an emergence location would be better?), head southwest, and then follow Highway 53 all the way here. The largest bump in the road would be Rice Lake. Please, that would be as troublesome as walking down a pebbly beach for the King of the Monsters.

GODZILLA 2012!