The kit comes free of its script
not having shipped with instructions,
only a tip line to call in distress,
a site to log into in the middle
of the night when you’ve almost
gotten it together except for the few
leftover pieces—3 screws, 1 metal washer—
and the thing wobbles and lists, flirts
with disaster, questions its existence
not to mention your fix-it-ness,
your persistence, your breaking point, your wits.
This doesn’t sit well with the you that lost
another little bit of your dignity
getting fitted today to stand up
in a spring wedding. “We’ll have to let out
the seams there, add larger darts
here and here,” the needle-worker admitted,
gritting her teeth. In the morning, hopefully,
despite this, your kid will come tripping down
the stairs and into the room where the glitzy
tree holds its own against bitter winter weather--
for now—and you’ll know the distinct pleasure
of joy synching up with your offspring, that arrow
in your quiver, those eyes lit up, that grinning
even though it wasn’t exactly what was asked for—
you couldn’t find that—but in a pinch
you got this instead, wishing on a star
that it would do the trick—all that years later
only a blip on the movie screen, yet you’ll drink in
sips of I-did-it again and again,
loose change, unclaimed hardware still
tossed on a chipped plate
near the window as if
spit out, glints of sun trying
to figure out that odd topographical map,
its tumbled residual gist, its pith,
its awkward attempt at inventiveness
Jan Carroll’s books include River (2015) and With What’s Left: Gardening, Earth-Tending, and Keeping On in the Midst of Climate Crisis (November 2019). She facilitates small poetry-writing groups and the local reading series 6x6. Her website is jancarrollpoetryetc.net.