Ship Shape Car Wash, shown here navigating a chilly Chippewa River. Click for a closer look.

A strange sight – or lack thereof – has local motorists shaking their heads in confusion today as they drive down Clairemont Avenue near the Chippewa River. The Ship Shape Plus Car Wash, which has remained anchored on the south shore of the river for more than a quarter of a century, is simply gone.

But don’t freak out just yet – the ship has not been wrecked. Regular customers and people who just like looking at sea vessel-shaped car washing facilities will be happy to know the vanishing act is temporary.

In a press release issued earlier today (4-1-13), the ship’s crew confirmed the car wash’s recent departure, explaining how the ship set sail early this morning (at 0400 hours), returning to its port of origin for routine maintenance.

“Car washes don’t steer like no ord’nary boat, laddies,” spokes-sailor Shane O’Shammy explains. “Ye must treat ‘er with r’spect! And let yer ‘eart be yer compass.”

Once work is finished and the car wash is deemed seaworthy, spokes-sailor Shane O’Shammy says, “She’ll be a-meanderin’ back up tha Mighty St. Croix, on to tha Mighty Chip, and back to er’ ‘ome port.”

O’Shammy later added, “I tells ya.”

The ship’s captain, Jacob Swash, was confident his ship would return in absolutely the shippest shape possible. Captain Swash is well known in the nautical car wash world for his economical combination of polymer sealant, Underflush with Rust Inhibitor, and air freshener.

A timeframe was not given for the ship’s return, though the press release mentions certain challenges involved whenever a car wash navigates a river system, especially in the spring when Wisconsin waterways are swollen with melting snow.

“Car washes don’t steer like no ord’nary boat, laddies,” O’Shammy explains. “Ye must treat ‘er with r’spect! And let yer ‘eart be yer compass.”

O’Shammy later added, “‘Tis tha truth, aye.”