Drive Like a Wisconsinite
Today I am reminded of the sage words I read over six weeks ago in the February 3 issue of Volume One concerning the special brand of lunacy that overcomes Chippewa Vallian motorists whenever snow accumulates on the ground. Side note: I also wrote these words.
And I quoth mine self ...
... you’d think once we get past January, people would be accustomed to driving their automobiles in snowy conditions. This is not true, as people seem to remain stubbornly dumb about how to navigate an unplowed road. It’s as if, upon the first snowflakes falling past their windshields, people declare to themselves, “Holy crap, it’s snowing! All bets are off!” and they drive in ways no sane person would. People drive down the middle of the street, they drive through red lights, and they park at crazy angles. I’ve seen people leave a parking lot by driving over a sidewalk and off a curb just because six inches of snow fell the night before – while the normal exit is completely usable.
People, a snowstorm is not a license to drive like a freaked out, paranoid spider monkey jacked up on Red Bull. Follow the normal traffic laws. It’s not like the people who designed them didn’t factor in winter weather.
People, you need to drive better in the face of frosty adversity. I don’t care how pissed off you are about a snowstorm in late March. I don’t care how annoying it was that WEAU’s 800,000 pound TV tower crashed to the ground last night and you missed the end of The Biggest Loser. And I don’t care how mad you are because your street remains unplowed.
You have no excuses. Stop whining and drive like a Wisconsinite.*
