TRIPLE THE BALANCE!

For years now, a little bracelet has been circulating around the sports gear market – the Power Balance Bracelet. Besides complementing most athletic ensembles, it claims to unite with the body’s natural energy flow, ultimately enhancing a person’s strength. Sport Science Professor John Porcari from UW-La Crosse and his co-worker Rachel Hazuga devised a scientific experiment to test the statements made by the Power Balance Company who designed the bracelet. For those of you readers who swear on their grandmother’s grave by the Power Balance Bracelet, the results may be disturbing and I would recommend you stop reading, or your insane Sports Powers may be magically removed.

Yeah, the scientific method can be a lot like Kryptonite.

Researchers used a sample size of 42 college athletes and conducted two trials of exercises that demanded flexibility, balance, strength, and – obviously – an awesome vertical jump. During each trial, the athlete was given either a Power Balance Bracelet or a placebo bracelet. Which bracelet they had on was unknown to both the person who conducted the exercises and the athlete.

The results: 90% of the athletes performed better during their second trial and it didn’t matter the kind of bracelet they wore. Boom. Sorry, bracelet-loving athletes, you just got Lex Luthored by a dude from La Crosse.

With athletes trying anything and everything they can to get that extra edge, it’s no surprise to me that the Power Balance Company is making a fortune selling these bracelets with ionized holograms. Adding insult to injury, people pay $30 for a Power Balance Bracelet when the placebo costs only 30¢.

Well I’m off to bingo with my lucky rabbit’s foot and 60 luck trolls. Wish me luck!