It’s true: if you are an idiot, beer will make you an even bigger idiot. It seems to serve as an amplifier for your ass-backwardness. Case in point: Brad Tuchalski of Jackson County. Last week, Tuchalski and a buddy entered a Kwik Trip in Black River Falls to buy some beer and let the good times roll, baby. (Presumably, they were after the crisp taste of Milwaukee’s Best.) Unfortunately, it was too late to buy beer. So what’s a Party Dawg to do? Shove a bunch of cans into your pockets and run, and when you get reported, lead the police on a 90mph car chase, eventually leaping from your vehicle and running until you are tackled by Jackson County deputies because YOU NEED FOUR CANS OF BEER DAMMIT. From WQOW.com …

• Deputies say they tried to pull them over, but the suspects sped up and hit 90 miles an hour at one point. Law enforcement says the suspect was driving so erratically, his truck was completely in the oncoming lane at least twice.
• Eventually, Tuchalski was arrested after he stopped the vehicle and led deputies on another chase, this time on foot. He's been charged with three felonies, including reckless endangerment.

And that, kids, is why we don’t mix drinking and thievery.