Poisoned By Money
C.E. Bradford of Augusta Contracts Blood Poison in a Peculiar Manner.
Eau Claire Weekly Leader | May 18, 1895

Augusta- The Augusta Eagle tells of C.E. Bradford the banker of that city contracted blood poisoning from the habit of wetting his fingers on his lip and then counting the bills. The poison-germ seems to have spread through his system and he has gone to Hudson for medical treatment. His recovery will be slow.

Chad’s Take: Watch out swine flu!

With the country finally getting over the swine flu hysteria, we can now focus our attention to the real cause of illness in the Chippewa Valley- the dreaded poison germ. We have all heard that the money we touch on a daily basis is full of germs and of course cocaine, but now that we find out it also carries the poison germ, it makes the idea of touching money even more deadly. Unfortunately Mr. Bradford did not have such life saving information at his disposal and he became very sick due to catching the poison germ.  Luckily for the Chippewa Valley we have learned from Mr. Bradford’s mistake and the actual use of paper money is declining rapidly with more and more people deciding to use their debit and credit cards due to the overwhelming fear of contracting the poison germ. Of course being the death tempting risk taking person that I am, I only use money that I find in the Eau Claire sewers.

Keep an eye out.