Everyone’s running this story, so why not us? Starting at 1pm on Thursday, the whole state of Wisconsin will run a TOTALLY FAKE tornado watch, with ALSO TOTALLY FAKE tornado warnings for specific groups of counties. From 1:40 to 1:45pm, the Chippewa Valley will experience its watch. Sirens will blare. DO NOT PANIC. It will only be a drill. Unless an actual tornado forms in the sky, in which case, it will be the most confusing day in state history. But let’s not dwell on negative thoughts. In preparation, Volume One recommends you assemble your own tornado preparedness kit, to be labeled “My Tornado Preparedness Kit.” You should keep it in your basement or tornado shelter. Suggested contents include:

• • flashlight
  • blanket
  • crank-powered radio
  • a good barometer (here’s a good one)
  • fitted Kevlar body suit (one per person)
  • flare gun
  • flares (5)
  • to pass the time, a book of party games for adults which includes icebreakers, parlor games, and party tips that will make your guests flip (here’s a good one)
  • antibiotic ointment, band aids
  • crossword puzzles
  • extra underwear (19 pair)
  • if you have them, your children
  • any souvenirs, mementos, heirlooms and/or savings bonds you don’t want vigorously wafted into oblivion

So, there you go. Here’re more details on the statewide drill. Our area’s drill includes Barron, Chippewa, Dunn, Eau Claire, Pepin, Pierce, Polk, Rusk and St. Croix Counties. If actual severe weather actually occurs, the drill will be rescheduled for the following Friday.

P.S. That picture above is the web graphic WEAU.com uses for most of their weather-related stories.