As a boy, I dreamt of moments like the one experienced by Joshua Nickel last week as he drove his car off Highway 121, careened through a ditch, smashed into a guardrail, blasted into some rocks, and then shot miraculously over the whole dang Trempealeau River, as if his car was powered by rocket fuel, magic, or both. The scenario in my childhood mind involved being chased by government agents, rampaging dinosaurs, or Hazzard County Sheriff Rosco P. Coltrane. But in real life, Joshua Nickel’s scenario involved being drunk and almost killing his sorry ass. Lucky for Josh, he was able to walk back to the road. From WEAU.com …

• Deputies say Nickel got to the road and flagged down an officer. An ambulance took him to the hospital for his injuries. But police arrested him for operating under the influence.

I’m assuming the Trempealeau River isn’t all that wide.