Can you think of a better way to celebrate your wedding than throwing a knife at your son’s friend who is duct taped to a chair? I can! From the Chippewa Herald:

• A Chippewa Falls man is facing felony charges after throwing a knife and stabbing a young man who had been wrapped in duct tape.
• Matthew J. Willi, 46, 109 Chippewa Street, was celebrating his wedding when the incident took place, which resulted in Willi being arrested the next day.He has been charged with second degree reckless endangerment and negligent handling of a weapon. Read more.

I guess Willi hasn’t heard of the Dollar Dance or, like, throwing a bouquet or something. Is this a family of FBI agents or what? Zing!