GOOD OLD WATER STREET. Not pictured: Late-night footraces between the inebriated.

1. WAIT IN LINE OUTSIDE OF BARS.

On Saturday nights when Water Street is full of young adults bar-hopping, part of the fun is standing in line, unprepared for the Wisconsin weather at night, spending your first leg of the night just waiting to be let in. Sometimes the line moves fast. Sometimes you get the opportunity to make new friends. Or foes. Whatever floats your boat.

2. PASS BY PILES OF CONDIMENTS.

There’s nothing like some hot food from Kwik Trip to warm you up! Just be careful where you step when you’re walking on Water Street during a bustling weekend, or you may just step in some leftover ketchup and mustard (and hopefully that’s all).

3. RACE THOSE WHO HAVE BEEN IMBIBING.

For reasons unknown, those who partake in Water Street activities love for you know just how fast they can run, and that usually entails a race on foot, weaving in and out of the crowds. They usually win, which you’ll hear about all night.

4. DISCUSS THE LOGISTICS OF MODERN DANCING.

Picture this: You’re approached by someone who says, “No one knows how to dance anymore.” And then they start dancing around you, circling you and your friends. You start to leave because it’s about that time, and then he shimmies, vigorously, on his way through the crowd to create a path so you can get out safely. 

5. LEAVE AND GO TO BED EARLY.

Saturday nights on Water Street are not for everyone, myself included. So if standing around, walking by trash and questionable splatters on the ground, running haphazardly, and conversing with woozy strangers aren’t what you had in mind for your weekend, going to bed early is a tried and true recommendation.