Local Author Releases New Book Detailing Our Brains on Casual Sex
the ‘birds and the bees’ are part of all of our lives – let's talk about it
Sex on Clearance: Why We’re Tempted to Sell the Sacred Part of Marriage Up Front, written by local author Evening Snow, is not a typical romance novel. Instead, it elegantly portrays Evening’s own life experiences with an emphasis on sex as intentional, rather than a quick swipe left or right.
“My goal is to help others navigate relationships with fewer regrets. It’s never going to be perfect,” she said.
In the book, Snow sources studies that show how casual sex changes the brain’s neural pathways to seek negative attributes in other people. Causal sex reinforces negative associations that make sex hollow when only focused on external intimacy, some of the studies said. Snow also emphasized studies that detail how sexual relationships within a committed relationship establish healthier living patterns that naturally decrease the risk for heart disease and insomnia, for example. There are scientific and experiential benefits to gratifying sex with the right person.
But even extended to our social lives, the dating app economy of instant sexual gratification and seeking validation from a multitude of strangers decreases our value of committed relationships and our perceptions of self-worth. Sex on Clearance brings new light to finding value in yourself first before being intimate with someone else.
“I want to encourage as many people as I can to not devalue themselves because of the experiences that they’ve had,” Snow said.
The book is a full mix of scientific research on sex and Evening’s experiences navigating life. Evening Snow was adopted from Ethiopia at a young age and grew up in the Chippewa Valley. After high school, she began searching for a husband.
Soon, she shifted her view of relationships through faith and reading: instead of shallow and external, she found power and worth internally to then attract someone who encompassed a deeper connection to her true self.
“You have to say, ‘I deserve to be loved and respected,’ ” she said. “I have permission to say this is what I want, and this is not what I want.”
Sex on Clearance is an opportunity for readers to think about their own power and what they want out of intimate relationships. Love is a beautiful, special thing. Snow’s book explores intentionality, and how those associations live on in people’s brains.