Hey, Eau Claire.

You probably don’t remember me, but I’m one of the guys who used to write for Volume One 10 years ago when it was way less professional. Well, Nick was professional, but the rest of us were varying levels of “child.” That was part of the fun! Long story short: Volume One grew up and became a pillar of the community. Me? I got really, really into pinball. Like, too into it.

Consequently, I started a pinball magazine called Nudge. Check it out: nudgepinball.com. Better yet, Google us — that’s great for our website traffic. The gist of the site is that we treat pinball the way magazines like Thrasher or Big Brother treated skateboarding: mostly-off-topic and pretty crass. There are only three rules we have at Nudge.

1. Pinball is for EVERYONE.
2. Everything is kinda pointless anyway, so why not have fun?
3. Be funny and mean.

So imagine my surprise when my phone rang. For the purposes of this story, let’s say it’s the most beat-up iPhone of all time. Like really not in good shape at all. It’s sitting on a table that looks like something out of a Hunter S. Thompson story but replace 90% of the drugs with antacid tablets. I groggily answer the phone. It’s 7pm.

“Ian, we need you,” Volume One says. “We need boots on the ground to get the down and dirty about what’s actually happening with Eau Claire Pinball.”

“I’m getting too old for this sh--,” I say.

“Nope, can’t say that anymore,” Volume One says. “We’re a family publication now. Like all of us have a ton of kids now except for you.”

“I was just going to say: I’m getting too old for this … nonsense,” I say. I put a cold steak on my black eye. “But I’m in. One last ride, but you have to let me promote my website, nudgepinball.com a bunch. That’s N-U-D-G --”

“We get it,” Volume One says.

So here we are. One last ride for the Jacoby kid. Alright Eau Claire, buckle in for the rock ’n’ roll pinball ride of your life. The kind of ride where we say ’n’ instead of using the word “and.” Because it’s really that informal of a ride.

Anyway, I turned this town upside down and shook it to see what kinda pinball would fall out. Here’s what fell out.

Where do pinball machines come from?

Before we begin, maybe this will be useful to folks who don’t know a ton about pinball. Let’s say you’re out at a bar or restaurant and you play a pinball table. Maybe that’s not your jam. Instead, you play a game on a dartboard, a pool table, or one of those video gambling machines — and you think, this rules.

I wish I had one of these in my house for my friends and me to go nuts on a couple of times a week. You research how much they cost and realize that these are expensive pieces of equipment. Even a dartboard is going to run you a minimum of 3K in most situations.

Restaurants and bars don’t like to shoulder that cost either. Usually, that means they lease that space to operators who provide those games to them in exchange for whatever they make while on location. In Eau Claire, by far the biggest operator is Donivan’s Vending Service. They’re like the Tony Soprano of pinball in Eau Claire (without the mob connections). If you see a pinball table out in the wild in the Chippewa Valley — chances are it came from Donivan’s.

In the few places where that isn’t true, we’ve noted it in parenthesis next to the name of the location. Donivan’s if you’re reading this: thank you, you’re doing God’s work. We appreciate you. Now, please update the code on your machines.

This story took us into the very BOWELS of Eau Claire, and like regular bowels that means it was a twisty ride. There’s no rhyme or reason to the order of these, but just sit back and let the prose wash over you. There you go, that’s better.

The downside? If you have kids, this probably isn’t the place to bring them. I mean, it’s a bar. That said, if you’re of age, want to burn through an afternoon on one of the most generous pinball machines in the area (5 balls for a dollar!), and don’t get too scared of Demogorgons then this is your spot.

It’s quickly become No. 1 in my rotation. Also, Tom, the owner is really a good guy. He tried to connect me with a legendary Eau Claire pinball player named ZIM who I’m actually convinced only exists in legend.

Eau Claire Games and Arcade is a service to the community. It’s the one place on here that’s specifically geared towards having kids learn pinball — which I think is rad. The good news? It seems like folks are really into it. The day I was there, they were prepping for a 60-person party.

While it seems like parties have become a bigger and bigger part of their business, the truly unique part of EC Games and Arcades is that they use an all-you-can-play model. Depending on the day (slightly more expensive on weekends, but an incredible $8 deal on weekdays), you can pay a man named Cheese less than $10 and play pinball until your eyeballs dry up and fall out. Sign me up!

Run by local entrepreneur and educator Tim Sexton and his partner, Ben Granger, this place isn’t just great for playing pins, it’s a great spot to learn too. Tim is extremely giving of his time, and basically runs the whole operation as a way to showcase games (that they sell) while also giving back to the community. Plus they sell Airheads there, which I was pumped about. I haven’t eaten those things since like 1995 at Moulton’s Skate America.

This is also the place that has THE BEST selection of pinball by far. Since these games are all for sale, the lineup changes frequently. The good news? Granger is a whiz fixing pinball machines. While I was there he walked me through some repairs he was doing on a great looking Theater of Magic pin.

These are folks who love pinball and it shows in their shop. I wish I could say more great things about them, but I’m running out of space, so I’ll just say this: Go there. Please. This place needs to stay running for as long as possible. Please.

For years I thought of Fox Run as the place that my disappointed Seymour T-ball coaches went to after I delivered another 0-3 performance at the plate. Turns out, no! There’s actually a lot of other great stuff there. Fox Run is way out in the town of Seymour.

Everyone there is extremely friendly. It’s the kinda spot where people call you “hun” a lot. I love that. It makes me wish I owned a cowboy hat, just so I could tip it politely when I lay a tip down. There was a birthday party going on when I was there and the folks throwing it basically adopted me into their family. Shout out to my new aunt, Denise!

In maybe the most thematically appropriate pairing ever, Fox Run has an amazing Munsters machine. It’s creepy, it’s kooky — no wait, that was The Addams Family. What did the Munsters have? Doesn’t matter — this game is straight fire. It plays super well, is reasonably priced, and looks amazing set off against the wood paneling of Fox Run.

This is the kinda spot that you can get lost for hours. In a good way. If there’s ever a search party looking for me, send them to Fox Run first. Even if they don’t find me, they’ll probably end up having a real good time.

Southside Soul, Savers, and the temporary library relocation are singlehandedly making the old London Square Mall area cool again (all due respect to Festival Foods). Locally owned and operated, the folks at Southside make some pretty tasty traditional soul food and Chicago staples.

I had a hotdog that was covered in hot peppers and my Dad had a Polish sausage that was bigger than a baby’s arm. There were families having fun, folks on awkward Tinder dates, pretty much everything you’d expect. A great backdrop for some hot and heavy pin.

Southside not only has two pinball machines (Deadpool and Metallica) but also a giant basketball game. Seriously, the thing is like legit 10 feet tall.

As for the pins? They’re in various states. The Metallica barely works (one flipper is completely broken) and the Deadpool is still running code from when it first came out. What does that mean for non pinball nerds?

It means that these games are good, but not great. Still fun, and I put up a Grand Champ score in our short time there. If you go there and beat it, I’ll buy you a Chicago Dog. Seriously, find me.

Double Days is just a hop, skip, and another hop (no jumping!) from Eau Claire Games and Arcade and it was for this reason that we even discovered the Black Knight Sword of Rage sitting in a dusty old corner.

My writing partner and I headed down during a break from some hot and heavy pins at EC arcade to grab a burger and some suds. While there we noticed their games: bags, gambling machines, pool tables, and yes, a beautiful Black Knight Sword of Rage.

Known as one of the hardest games of all time, Black Knight Sword of Rage is specifically designed to infuriate you. No seriously, that’s how Mark Ritchie, the designer intended it. Even the dialogue on the game is written to goad you on “Give me your money!” “Terrible!”

As someone who already wrestles with self-esteem issues, you’d think I’d steer clear — but no way, Jose! This game is toooooo good. I ended up playing this with like four or five 7-year-olds who were there while their parents cheered on Michigan State in March Madness.

While I can’t say who won the basketball game, I will say that Jaden (age 7) was extremely excited when I killed a demon by making an incredibly lucky slap save. Thanks Jaden, you the real MVP.

At this point we don’t have to sell people on The Joynt, right? Everyone knows it’s the best.

Still somehow priced like it’s 1986, The Joynt is the bar of the people and has been for a long long long time. Also, they have pinball, darts, and pool. Which pinball tables? Well, ONLY THE BEST IN THE WORLD.

The Joynt has the best three pin lineup in Eau Claire right now. There’s a Guardians of the Galaxy, a Mandalorian, and the king of them all: Godzilla. For those of y’all not in the know, Godzilla is THE pinball game of 2021. It literally swept the industry awards because of its amazing design, callouts, and music. I mean, it plays Blue Oyster Cult when you start a Godzilla multiball.

Frustratingly, it IS still rocking its original code (there have been something like five or six updates since then, which really unlock the game and make it sing). That said, if Donivan’s ever gets around to updating, it’s gonna be game over.

For years, The Mousetrap’s kickball team was the bane of Volume One’s existence. They kicked our butts every year. That said, we always had respect for them and the way they played the game. It might not always be pretty, but by God did they get results. That’s also true for their pinball.

Nestled in the very back of their bar lies the dirtiest pinball machine I’ve ever seen. For real, like this thing could give you scurvy.

The good news? It plays awesome. It’ll give you like six multiballs in a row. I had a game that lasted 40 minutes and I STILL didn’t get on the high score list. It’s also one of the few places the mysterious ZIM isn’t leading the pack in the score department. Who is ZIM? WHO ARE YOU? (Pretend I’m doing a Batman voice right now.)

It’s crazy. I moved away like 12 years ago and when I come back Altoona is all of a sudden a full-fledged city? When the heck did that happen? Altoona is booming, baby! 44 North is a cool little spot located right in the heart of that burgeoning business/commerce center. Their food list looked good, the drinks were flowing.

If you took my brain while I slept and took out only the good ideas, it’d look a lot like what Reboot Social is going to be. Opening in July (in the old Children’s Museum of Eau Claire space, 220 S. Barstow St.), Reboot Social is yet another dope hang-out spot from Charlee Marquardt and his business partners (whose previous ventures include the revitalized Tokyo).

These folks have a background in production and light shows, so I’m stoked to see what they can do with three stories of space.

Their plan so far seems pretty nice. A full food menu, bar, tons of spots to hang out, board games, etc. This place is going to have four Duckpin bowling lanes, 30 vintage arcade games, 15 pinball machines, billiards, darts, and a bunch of other cool stuff. Sources say they’re running the full gamut for pinball machines, from newer Sterns like The Mandalorian to older classics like Medieval Madness and Attack From Mars. Those names may mean nothing to you now, BUT THEY WILL.

Medieval Madness is especially exciting. The words “mint condition” were thrown around pretty judiciously, and I don’t think we’ve had one locally available since The Joynt lost theirs a few years ago.

I’m not going to grade this one out yet. But please, Eau Claire support this business. We need it. Pinball needs it. Heck, I need it. I’m begging you. I’m not proud, but this is all I have. Well, this and nudgepinball.com which is a great segue.

Eau Claire, I gotta say the future looks bright.

So what is the state of pinball in EC? It’s good and getting better. With old standbys like The Joynt and Eau Claire Games and Arcade leading us out of the dark ages and new up-and-comers like Southside Soul and Reboot, well, we’re lucky to be here. This is a golden moment. Cherish it.

Grab your bag of quarters, pop on some tunes, and go for the flashing lights. It’s time to flip, Eau Claire.

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