Ah yes, the half of the planet on which we live is now tilting further towards the great burning orb, and the seasons are shifting. As temperatures climb and winter unclenches its grip upon the Chippewa Valley, the time has finally come for us to Enjoy Spring^TM. But how can you best enjoy it? There are many ways. Here are but a few …

Complain About the Cold.

Hey, you’ve been complaining all winter, why stop now? If you’ve made hating winter an integral part of your well-curated identity, we understand how you just need to keep it going. We also know that, despite living through multiple decades of seasonal changes here in Wisconsin, you probably expected temperatures to hit the low 70s by April 1. And we’re so sorry this didn’t happen for you. Stay strong and wrap yourself in a thick layer of pointless whining. Also, a coat.

Shop for Seeds.

Some people like to garden. Does this sound like you? Shop for seeds.

Bust Out the Shorts.

It’s time. Those cargo/athletic/floral print shorts you gently placed in a drawer last October December are ready to break free after their begrudging hibernation. The thermometer reads only 17 degrees, but the sun is shining, and it looks warm outside. Your naked knees yearn for the sweet kiss of fresh air – so set up the make-out session they so greatly deserve. If people stop and stare, just let them know it’s fine – you actually don’t get very cold.

Wish It Were Still Winter.

Guess what? Some people like winter, and they’re not ready to emerge from the cozy nests they’ve crafted over the past few months. They’ve got more things on which to quietly reflect. They’ve got a stack of puzzles left to assemble. And they’ve got a lot more mental prep to do before they can tolerate the rest of the population who won’t shut up about loving springtime.

Clean Up the Yard.

Do you own a house with a yard and a dog with a functioning digestive system? Have fun!

Hunt for Treasure.

This springtime activity is for all you bargain lovers. Roam about town inspecting the curbs and gutters that so recently held icy snowbanks, and behold a bounty of lost objects. The receding snow has revealed its frosty secrets, and your neighbor’s loss could very well be your gain. Looking for a flat, soggy glove? No problem. Dirty stuffed animals? They need a good home. An intact container of long forgotten onion rings dropped by a hasty DoorDash delivery driver? Yum! A miraculously still functioning smartphone? Anything’s possible. Finders keepers, dear friend.

Sneeze.

Seasonal allergies are no joke. But perhaps you can lighten your mucus-filled burden with a fresh perspective. Though it may feel hazy, achy, and disgusting this time of year, your body is a true badass. What is a sneeze if not a bold declaration, shouting, “Not today, pollen! Not on my watch!” And what are itchy, watery eyes if not a metaphorical cleansing of one’s worldview, a noble attempt to persevere against all odds? (You might also consider popping a Benadryl and napping a lot.)

Capture the Glorious Beauty.

Once the flowers finally start popping from their tender little buds, many of us are quick to capture nature’s artwork upon our phones and tablets, so we may share it through various social media outlets. And that’s just fine. But have you considered capturing nature’s emerging life with a crystal orb and then channeling that energy into dark magicks in service to your quest for everlasting life so as to bend the world to your will? Well? Have you?

Ignore It.

Hey, we’re all just passing time until summer and fall, right?

Remember – there’s really no wrong way to celebrate spring. Just find what works for you and remember to stay safe.