Lazy river? More like a “crazy river,” amiright?

Can you drive a go-kart? How about eat pizza? And are you capable of floating on water in an inner tube? If you answer “yes” to all three questions, you are a potential triathlete. Sure, a traditional triathlon involves endurance swimming, biking, and running, but the upcoming Float, Fly and Pie event at Metropolis Resort isn’t a typical triathlon. It’s a sure-to-be fun fundraiser for Beacon House, Eau Claire’s shelter for homeless families. Teams of four will compete in three events: the “float” leg will consist of one lap in a tube around the lazy river at Chaos Indoor Water Park; the “fly” leg will be a race around the go-kart track at Action City amusement park next door; and the “pie” portion will involve speed-eating a pizza without using your own hands (each team will have a designated “feeder”). All participants will compete in the pizza eating and go-karting, but only one person per team will become a floating “water warrior.” The triathlon is open to both corporate teams and families, and the latter participants will have extra fun: Each family competitor will get a card worth $30 of game play at Action City’s arcade. Even better, the points families win playing skee-ball or Whac-a-Mole will be converted into a donation for special fun events for kids living at Beacon House. The competition is the brainchild of Mark Steil, owner of Metropolis and Chaos and former owner of Action City, and all proceeds will benefit Beacon House. Register your corporate or family team by Feb. 8, then get ready to fulfill your dream of becoming a triathlete. 

Float, Fly and Pie Triathlon to benefit Beacon House • Sunday, Feb. 21 • family triathlon 1-3:30pm; corporate triathlon 3:30-6pm • Metropolis Resort, 5150 Fairview Drive, Eau Claire • $160 for family team, $600 for corporate team • pre-registration deadline Feb. 8 • entry form and details at www.beacon-house.org