You know what this town needs? A French restaurant, right? Right? French food is awesome and I could eat it, like, all day. But all the restaurants around here are boring and uninspired and they’re all chains and they’re all dumb and it sucks and what we need is a French restaurant because French restaurants TOTALLY RULE! AM I RIGHT?

Oui.*

But not an expensive French restaurant. Just a nice bistro with outdoor seating** overlooking the Chippewa River. And local! I’m pretty sure we grow the exact same food that France grows, so let’s keep it local. That makes it cheaper, right? And maybe they could have a few things on the menu that aren’t French so my mom and dad would eat there with me. But otherwise – totally French!

It would make the area soooooo much more diverse, and it would, like, get people to live here and start companies here and be all cool. Right?

I’m hungry. I’d kill a baby goat for a decent croissant.

[Aaaaand ... end scene.]

Whew, that was fun. I was trying to encapsulate the attitude that adding a cool, new restaurant to the local scene would pretty much be the best ever thing to happen around here ever. When people list the things they’d like to see happen around here, a new, not boring eatery usually ranks pretty high. And quite often, it’s a French-style eatery –  consistently showing up as a hot contender in the “Most Needed Style of Restaurant” category in Volume One’s Best of the Chippewa Valley Reader Poll (the results of which you’ll find here). And I gotta admit, a French restaurant sounds pretty good. French food is fantastic, right?

How the hell should I know?

When I try to visualize what might actually be on a French bistro’s menu, I draw a blank. Something with lots of butter? Something with amazing sauces? I have no idea. But it sure sounds good. So it’s easy to just assume all one needs to do is simply open a French restaurant, and BOOM instant awesomeness is sure to follow.

When I try to visualize what might actually be on a French bistro’s menu I draw a blank. Something with lots of butter? Something with amazing sauces? I have no idea. But it sure sounds good.

However. No matter how French or Indian or German or Thai or Canadian, and no matter how cool or “real” or local or quirky a restaurant may be, any beyond-the-norm eatery will not survive in this area unless some other things are dealt with first. And I’m not talking about food.

I’d love to just jump right to “awesome French restaurant with a carousel theme where you get to sit on a gorgeous unicorn hand-carved from an old growth black walnut tree while you dine on French food made with tons of butter and amazing sauces” but there are steps that must be take to get there. Economic steps. Development steps. Cultural steps. But it really comes down to money and attitude. In particular, it comes down to one’s attitude toward one’s money (if one is lucky enough to have some).

Good food from a restaurant costs money –  especially if you are looking for something uncommon. I’ve never opened a restaurant before, but I hear it’s not exactly a get-rich-quick scheme. Obviously, affordable good food is not impossible, but the kind of food locals seem vocal about needing (if you make it right) is often more expensive to obtain and prepare.

Now, let’s say a Chippewa Vallian’s actually got a little cash burning a hole in his/her pocket. Is a good meal something he/she’s going to spend it on? Nathan Berg doesn’t think so.

Nathan Berg is/was probably the closest thing the Chippewa Valley’s had to a celebrity chef. His critically lauded, economically challenged Native Bay restaurant in Chippewa Falls was considered one of the area’s most unique dining establishments before it closed a few a years ago. He was also a chef at The Creamery before it shut down, and he helped revamp the Foster Cheese Haus into a culinary standout. Last year, he had this to say about how locals seem to spend their dough:

“When people around here spend money, they do it on things (like 40-inch flat screens) instead of on experiences (like a play or a meal). Fiscally conservative and materially driven. And when they do pay for the experience, it’s something that fits closer with the [local] culture,” he said, citing things like Country Jam.

So, as a community, what factors must we focus on first? Again, how the hell should I know? I may look like a sociologist, but trust me, um ... I ain’t. We need to figure this out and start there. People need to want to try new things. Adding one superb French bistro on a local river bank will not accomplish this. We need to foster a new attitude. And we need an influx of people who are excited about these things, and that means we need a shift in local economic factors.

I think it’s possible, and I know there are local developers and city administrators trying to make it happen. So all I’m saying is, if you want a decent croissant, give these people and their projects your support.

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*That’s French for “Hells yes, Brother Man!”
**That’s American for “al fresco.”