Well, I set off for Thailand last August thinking I’d achieve some higher level of Zen that’d make being attacked by wild dogs and getting stuck in the worst traffic of my life easier to deal with. I was certain that I’d find my happy place among the intense humidity and elephant crap. Yeah. Not so much. If my five bizarre months in Thailand taught me anything, it’s that everything in Thailand is kind of like everything in Eau Claire … sort of.

They tell you “Same Same But Different” to reassure you that, while their eight-pronged dinner fork looks different than the average one, it really is the same. But then you bring it home, stab yourself in the mouth, and realize you just spent $1 on junk.

“Same Same But Different” (SSBD) is the Thai expression used to express this phenomenon. Generally vendors whip out this phrase when they see you looking at their wares with a look on your face that reads, “What in the HELL am I going to do with this?” They tell you “Same Same But Different” to reassure you that, while their eight-pronged dinner fork looks different than the average one, it really is the same. But then you bring it home, stab yourself in the mouth, and realize you just spent $1 on junk.

Let me localize SSBD for you. Here in Eau Claire, people seem to have issues using their turn signals. I’ll be driving towards the mall, ready to take the Golf Road exit, and suddenly someone in front of me remembers they need to go to Target. They swerve over and cut me off. NO TURN SIGNAL IN SIGHT. In Thailand, turn signals are the least of your problems. People seem to have issues staying in their lane of traffic. A red light does not mean, “stop the car and chill out for a minute.” It means, “Can I drive between these two cars and blow through that red light without getting killed?” See? SSBD.

Eau Claire has amassed quite a collection of fantastic restaurants over the years. You might see a menu advertising that a dish is made with “real American cheese” and locally raised beef. In Thailand, a menu might advertise that the chicken is “real” and that water won’t give you diarrhea. Both have something “real” to advertise but again … SSBD!

Driving down the highway here in Eau Claire generally means you’re going to find some road kill at some point. Once upon a time, deer used to live where our roads are, and occasionally they decide to cross the road to get to the other side. The result isn’t always pretty. In Thailand, animals want to cross the roads too, but you won’t find deer in that part of the world. Instead, you’ve got huge creepy lizards crossing over. Or maybe a wild dog that will tear your leg off if you reach down to pet it. Seeing road kill like this was weird for a while. The concept was the same but the common animals over there are ones we tend to treat like pets here. Our pets are another person’s road kill! SSBD.

Tattoos are a pretty common thing here in Eau Claire. If I walk down the street wearing something that shows my tattooed arms, I might get a few weird looks but everyone pretty much just ignores me. Which is just fine by me. Maybe someone will ask how much my ink cost me, but that’s where the rude questions stop. In Thailand, if I walk down the street wearing something that shows my tattooed arms, people will literally stop and stare at me as I walk by. Then they might ask me how much the ink costs. Then they’ll say, “How much you weigh?” WHATT??? Both are rude but SSBD!

I’m a marathon runner. Here in Eau Claire, 100 degrees would probably warrant the postponement of a race due to killing yourself from heat exhaustion. In Thailand, 100 degrees would probably warrant the running of a race because, “Damn … it’s ONLY 100 degrees?” SSBD strikes again!

Once I was walking down the street when I saw a “ladyboy” wearing a T-shirt that proclaimed, “Same Same But Different.” I had to laugh.

Whenever someone talks to me about Thailand, they inevitably ask me, “What was it like there?” I answer with things like, “You know … hot … bad drivers … creepy taxis that you shouldn’t ride in after dark.” Then I realize this could just as easily be describing certain aspects of Eau Claire, depending on the time of year. Or time of day. I guess I’ll just say “Same Same But Different” next time.