Let’s hurry up and talk about Thanksgiving before the already humming engines of the Christmas Hype Machine really rev up and drown out every other cultural happening from now until late January. More and more, it seems like Thanksgiving is getting lost in the shuffle. And to be honest, I’m not surprised.

I’ll just say it: we’re on the verge of canceling Thanksgiving. So before it’s too late, I’d like to give thanks for some of my favorite local stuff.

Exactly what is Thanksgiving bringing to the table nowadays? Not much. A big family meal? A turkey? Christmas pretty much has that covered. And most of people I know actually complain about having to complete two family pilgrimages (yuk, yuk) at such a busy time of year. There’s the story of the pilgrims, but the whole “robbing people of their native lands” thing has kind of put a damper on it. The Autumn-ish decorations are nice and all, but compared to Halloween before it and the explosion of candy canes, snowmen, and twinkle lights soon to follow ... it’s hard to compete. Think about it. Has Santa Claus ever lost a fight? The dude’s got some freaky powerful magic backing him up (not to mention Hasbro, Mattel, and Fisher Price).

I’ll just say it: we’re on the verge of canceling Thanksgiving. So before it’s too late, I’d like to give thanks for some of my favorite local stuff.

Chippewa Valley Home Builders Association
Oh, Chippewa Valley Home Builders Association, you shouldn’t have. When you offered to donate the labor needed to build a second set of restrooms in Phoenix Park, well ... you melted my heart. Some people think a second set of bathrooms is ludicrous, and perhaps (at the original price tag of $280,000) they are right. But after your open-hearted offer, along with a donation from area BID districts, the cost will be only around $32,500. So if loving these public toilets is wrong, I don’t want to be right.

Giant inflatable lawn ornaments
Holiday inflatables – what would I do without you? If you didn’t exist, I would have so little to complain about this time of year. And furthermore, if it weren’t for your towering billowy-ness, how the hell would I know what holiday we’re about to celebrate (in a month or two)? If it weren’t for the 20 foot tall blimp-like turkeys wearing pilgrim hats cresting the rooftops of my neighborhood, I’d have no clue it’s time to stock up on cranberry sauce.

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Local microbreweries
You know, for a while there, it seemed like local wineries would be stealing all the booze-based headlines for the foreseeable future. Places like Autumn Harvest and River Bend Vineyard are awesome, but every single one of their products possess a significant flaw: they are not beer. Menomonie’s new Lucette Brewing and Eau Claire’s upcoming Lazy Monk Brewery are helping to remedy to situation, supporting places like Northwoods Brew Pub and Das Bierhaus. An influx of microbreweries is an important trend – one that should be supported by some sort of city-funded program resulting in free beer for me.

Garage sales 
Wow, we just love our garage sales. The Chippewa Valley is a fairly bargain-centric area, with its low cost of living and Free Bacon Friday breakfast giveaways. (You knew about Free Bacon Friday, right?) But this place is positively a garage sale lover’s dream. The only thing stopping you from getting the shabby-chic wardrobe of your dreams is the cost of gas. I mean seriously – the city recently sent a citation to a local for selling goods out of their home because their garage sale just never ended.

The Chippewa Valley Roller Girls 
It’s a rock solid fact that’s held true throughout the entire history of Western civilization: the place you live is not cool until it has a roller derby team. So, thank goodness for the Chippewa Valley Roller Girls and their blazing blue helmets. They rolled into a huge win during their debut derby, defeating the Bull Falls Roller Dolls 132-76. I hope they can roll on to defeat other teams – and all that’s lame in the Chippewa Valley. They can start by running over whoever’s responsible for the complete lack of a good donut shop around these parts. That guy deserves a good face-push. I hate him.

You know what? This giving thanks stuff is actually pretty fun. I suggest you do it now before Kris Kringle flies into town to start the inevitable horn of plenty bonfire.