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Words: Trevor Kupfer, Nick Meyer, Mike Paulus,
Eric Rasmussen, and Aryn Widule.
Photos: Kim Acheson, Drew Kaiser, Jesse Johnson, Andrea Paulseth,
Stephanie Birr, and Ellen Mahaffy. 
Brian Moen helped,  too.

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ELECTIONS AND ECONOMIES
politics, education, and finances oh my!
by Eric Rasmussen

Can we just say “wow?” Seriously, 2008 was quite the year. OK, we know we say that every year so it makes our Year in Review section seem more important than it actually is, because, honestly, who would read these zany Year in Review write-ups if they started with “2006 was an utterly forgettable year” or “1987 was filled with about as much excitement as a bowl of plain mashed potatoes.” So, we always kick these things off with lines like “Zap zowy! 1952 was filled with so much craziness that our fedoras are starting on fire just thinking about it!” The point is, this time around, we are definitely not blowing smoke in your yearly wrap-up loving mugs. We’re being completely honest.

2008 was a very significant year.

First of all was the election. The election. It all started in January with the primaries, when everyone learned how superdelegates work (kind of like refrigerators, except they don’t really keep food cold). Everyone assumed Hillary Clinton was a lock, then Barack Obama started making some noise, and just when everyone started to really question if Mr. Obama could really pull this thing off, Wisconsin’s primary stood up with a huge Barack win. A local college student creatively pledged her support with a controversial t-shirt stating she would not support just any vagina (a reference for Ms. Clinton and against Palin, we assume, as opposed to a statement on general reproductive health). Mr. Obama visited Zorn arena, attracting throngs of people. As the contest continued, we saw John McCain’s face at Altoona Family Restaurant and on then on local sidewalks. We quite honestly missed the results, but we are sure whomever won totally deserved it. On the local side of the election, several races became a little spicy, especially when the Coalition for America’s Families ran some ads featuring people who were really excited about the democrats allegedly offering free healthcare to illegal immigrants. Was that supposed to be sarcastic? Because sarcasm always does such a nice job of presenting opposing viewpoints and bringing people together. But we digress. There were lawsuits. Jeff Smith, Kristen Dexter, and numerous other local democrats came out victorious anyways.

    As long as the Chippewa Valley was getting worked up about public officials, they thought, hey, we should see what that Eau Claire school superintendent is doing! And what he was doing was back-dating contracts and affording himself all sorts of early benefits. Naughty. So he was put on administrative leave, and now he’s suing the school district! It’s pretty much like the Walton’s, except with corruption and legal action. And, as long as we’re talking about schools, a whole mess of local teachers revealed to their students that they were heterosexual, and one South Middle School teacher revealed to her health classes that she was homosexual. Lots of people started arguing, the issue is still the No. 1 most popular response section on the Leader-Telegram website, and most local teachers are now wearing baggy sweatpants and shirts and taking great care to appear as transcendent sexless beings so as to not offend anyone. And then, just as things were looking brightest for the schools, the budget once again reared its ugly head. State funding formulas established in the 90s, when everyone assumed the world would end on Y2K, have left the school $5 million short. Ideas to solve this problem include closing Northstar Middle School, consolidating the high school sports teams, and cutting music and art classes, all of which the community just loves.

The local economy weathered quite the stormy year. We started the year complaining about gas prices, the same way kids complain about brushing their teeth. Now, the economy collapsed, which is like the same kid having to go in for four fillings and a root canal. Oh great deity of finance, whomever you are, we’re really sorry about the gas price bellyaching! Can we go back to that? Actually, the year in Eau Claire started off on a relatively high note – new restaurants, a fancy new gym, lots of development in the Phoenix Park neighborhood, and all sorts of building and remodeling out by Oakwood Mall. Over in Menomonie, a Canadian sand mining company decided to set up shop, which isn’t great for noise pollution, but definitely brings some economic benefits. Well, that all went in the crapper pretty quick. Now, we’re losing all sorts of businesses (Linens and Things, Bakers Square, Office Depot), the mall is flirting with bankruptcy, and even big stalwarts are starting to lay people off (Hutchinson announced layoffs recently). While some insist the Chippewa Valley is fairly insulated from all the bleeding on Wall Street, we definitely seem to be getting some trickle-down economic hemoglobin around here.

And, as long as we’re on the topic of bad news, Eau Claire experienced a well-publicized stabbing despite its reputation of being one of the safest cities in America. Several Stout students were killed in a fire, and if that wasn’t bad enough, the Westboro Baptist Church sent emissaries to protest at their funeral. The news director at WEAU TV-13 resigned over ethical issues involving agreements with local hospitals for exclusive expert interview rights.

Of course there was other bad news, but let’s wrap this up by focusing on the positive, because some great things happened this year as well. The Memorial High School Boys’ Hockey Team brought home the first D1 state title since the 70s. A beloved local musician became the official biggest celebrity to come out of the area, ever. UFOs were spotted over in Dunn County. People got outside and enjoyed the river, local farmers’ markets, and outdoor music evenings and festivals. Babies were born (some seriously cute ones, at that). People got married. Puppies did some incredibly adorable things.

See? We told you it was a big year. No sarcasm at all.

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THE YEAR OF THE CIVIC
smoke, elections, construction, and a jail – our local government in action
by Eric Rasmussen

2008 was the year for civics. Henceforth, it shall be proclaimed the year of the civic.  Nationally and in the Chippewa Valley, civic participation was high, and civic concerns dominated the headlines. Grades in local Civics classes reached all-time highs. We heard the words “civic center” muttered several times. The Honda Civic was one of the year’s best-selling autos. Civet cats hunted well and produced many viable offspring. Trivets were extremely popular, as locals needed tablecloth protection from hot dishes and pans.

Of course, the largest piece of civic news was, oh, I don’t know, the election, featuring Johnny McOldguy versus Barack Oboyhe’sthenewpresident. There were also numerous local races and, in many of those cases, the Democrats snagged the first places – Jeff Smith held on to his assembly seat, Kristen Dexter nabbed another, and Ron Kind is a pretty popular congressman, apparently.

But civic life in the Chippewa Valley was not all yard signs and filling in arrows with black markers. Plants of the genus Nicotania enjoyed some presidential-level attention as many local residents rallied around smoking bans with a passion usually only seen in ex-smoker nicotine-withdrawal fits. The City of Eau Claire passed a ban on smoking in bars and other work places, while Chippewa Falls opened its yellowed fingers to valley smokers by rejecting similar ban. Smoking also received attention at a county level when Eau Claire County considered a ban of its own, but that match burned out before igniting countywide clean air.

In a spectacular demonstration of how NOT to handle a civic project, the Eau Claire jail expansion circus will also define the year of the civic. The county talked about expanding the current jail in Eau Claire very quietly, because apparently no one knew about the project until the decision was pretty much made. At that point there was lots of complaining and petition signing from several fronts – homeowners being displaced by the expansion who were attached to said houses, appreciators of river beauty, and those who get a little uncomfortable having loads of criminals hanging out in the center of town. After lots of heated discourse, the city did not grant zoning considerations to the county, killing the project (for now), but not before a giant chunk of cash had been dropped.

The Eau Claire City Council also continued to be a big civic buzz kill by banning moving images on outdoor signs and being a big stick in the mud about the YMCA relocation by refusing to give it a time extension to purchase the property at Clairemont and Menomonie Street. However, they totally felt really bad about all of that, so they put up a humongous sign outside of Carson Park to advertise park events. And they expanded the bike trail, and the Farwell and Clairemont construction turned out really well (although, technically, the city council has nothing to do with Clairemont – the state handles all highway issues), so we cool. We cool.

Of course, there were loads of other civic happenings, but those were some of the biggies. Chippewa Falls’ mayor stepped down, the Eau Claire city council got moving on a park on Eau Claire’s west side, and they rezoned some stuff, probably. There were, like, 400 council meetings in Eau Claire in 2008, plus all the meetings in Chippewa, Menomonie, Altoona… we can assume they did something, right? Of course they did, because this was the year of the civic.

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THE BREAKOUT YEAR
a big arts/entertainment year on all fronts
by Trevor Kupfer

In the decades to come, 2008 could very well be known as a breakout year for local arts and entertainment on several fronts. The year brought the Chippewa Valley national recognition for poetry and jazz, and worldwide acclaim for music and snow sculpting. And though time will have to tell, it’s quite possible that a risqué play and a student-made art exhibition could be credited as contributing to the diversification of the Valley’s arts scene.

The biggest story of the year, and the worldwide acclaim previously mentioned, belongs to Bon Iver, whose album For Emma, Forever Ago launched local musicians into a whirlwind of TV spots and sold-out concerts. Some of the area’s youthful musicians garnered attention as well, as Memorial High School’s jazz program qualified for a national competition in New York City. And, lest we forget, rock powerhouse Queen crowned Anna Johnson champion of a songwriting competition.

    Music events and festivals had a banner year as well, including the 41st Jazz in the Valley, the Durand Blues Festival (with headliner Ellen Whyte), and UWEC’s Battle of the Bands, which had Water Street closed off for the first time. After The Nucleus’ all-ages shows tapered off this year, the Grand Little Theatre picked up the slack for the under-21 music scene.

Another big item in the local music scene was the fantastic string of releases from the valley’s own Amble Down Records, including The Gentle Guest’s We Are Bound To Save Some Souls Tonight, Meridene’s You’re Not Pretty You’re Worse, The Wars of 1812’s Status Quo Ante Bellum, and Cranes & Crows’ Blamer Winter. Big things await these acts in the near future, and locals will look back on these releases as major turning points.

Two of the Valley’s cultural centers brought us good news this year, first with the completion of Mabel Tainter Theater’s fantastic expansion and, then, with LE Phillips Memorial Library finishing fundraising for a $1.5 million spring renovation that will include improvements to the youth services area, lobby, and resource sharing operation.

On the theatrical end of things, the Chippewa Valley bid a sad farewell this year, as UW-Eau Claire director Terry Allen took his final bow after an excellent production of The Threepenny Opera. But as one icon of the local stage leaves, a group of renegade UWEC students hope to fill the void by presenting productions independent of the university, the first of which (The Dispute) came in late summer. Perhaps the most popular (they had to add shows) and talked-about production (because of its risqué material) of the year was Eau Claire Theatre Guild’s Rocky Horror Show.

And we raised our glasses for two theater groups this year, as they notched another decade on the stage. Fanny Hill had its 30th anniversary, while Eau Claire Children’s Theatre celebrated its 20th.

As far as the visual arts go, it was a banner year for the creative folks in the Valley, who continue to diversify and bring fresh perspectives and events to our area. Though we’re not known for our filmmaking around these parts, Wut Wut Alma delivered the long-awaited premiere of The Illegal Use of Joe Zopp at Micon Cinemas, and another group of locals are just wrapping up the post-production of a feature called Big Star.

    At UW-Eau Claire, the Progressive Film Festival had a solid lineup for its third year in a row, and, for the first time, students rolled out a Bicycle Film Festival. Meanwhile, at Stout, a couple of students stirred up a little controversy with a performance art show involving tomatoes. While some folks commended it for creativity and humor, others cringed at its violent insinuations. Did I mention it involved tomatoes? In winter, local sculptors Steve Bateman and Jason Anhorn won second place in an Italian snow-sculpting contest. I guess all those crude Wisconsin winters paid off. The local group of artists that put together the second Open Air Festival of the Arts in Phoenix Park made an even bigger splash, and that’s hopefully of sign of the years to come. Just a short time later, area artists gathered at Wilson Park for ChalkFest, creating incredible pieces of art on its sidewalks. Take that Mary Poppins. liveART, another debut event for the area, gave locals a new appreciation of the Valley’s diverse artists as roughly a dozen created pieces right before patrons’ eyes on the stage of the State Theatre.

Just within this magazine’s pages this year, we covered more than 20 books authored by locals, which includes everything from teenager Cayla Kluver’s authorial debut (Legacy) and 88-year-old poet Norma Desprez’s Silhouettes of Aging. We’d like to give special congratulations, however, to Eau Claire’s Bruce Taylor, whose poetry was heard nationwide via Garrison Keillor.

It was the biggest year for the arts in recent memory, no question. And with out-of-the-box events  like the 999 Eyes Freakshow at the Stones Throw and the Great Porn Debate at UW-Stout, who knows what the future holds?

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THEY COME, THEY GO
several eateries, drinkeries leave,  but even more join the feast
by Aryn Widule

There’s good news, and there’s bad news. The bad news is that a whole mess of great eateries around town shut their doors and unplugged their ovens in the past year. Between the lack of spending money and staggeringly high fuel prices, it seems that less and less people around the Valley are going out for a meal on the town. The building that once housed the diner you ate all those pancakes at one night is sitting dark and pancakeless. The pizza place where you begged your grandmother for quarters to play Pac Man is evolving into a children’s boutique and jewelry store. It’s OK, though. Even as we go down the list of potentially depressing business closings, the good news is that new places to fill your belly are popping up all over the freakin’ place.

    It was a bad year for restaurants named after men. In Eau Claire, Ron’s Family Restaurant shut its doors this year, ending a long run as one of the most recognizable and family-feeling eateries around. In Menomonie, Jake’s Supper Club closed up shop. The restaurant that billed itself as the place where “prime rib is king” ended up being the only situation in a while where we were sad to see a monarchy go. Sammy’s Pizza closed its iconically brick-faced downtown location, forcing me to go all the way to London Road to eat its delicious pizza.

Native Bay in Eau Claire also got caught up in the perfect storm of economic disasters that seemed to be happening just about everywhere. Diversions opened in the old Fatboys location and tried to inject some diversity into the downtown bar scene, but was soon closed and turned into the Diamond Lounge.

    The good news that was mentioned before is that a bunch of exciting new restaurants opened up to take a shot at satisfying our taste buds. Eau Claire is the first city in Wisconsin to have a Sonic, subsequently justifying all of the Sonic commercials I kept seeing on TV. InfiniTea Teahouse opened up downtown, offering connoisseurs a place to hang out with people who know entirely too much about the drink that they love. The Old Elbow School Shop became home to Harmony Corner Café, appealing to those who like their coffee with their shopping.

Daring the enemies of Superman to show up in the Valley, the Metropolis Hotel opened with full dining options and Art Deco style. Little Ceasar’s is back from the campaigns and Milwaukee Burger Company slid into the old Grizzly’s location (while Grizzly’s moved out towards Oakwood Mall), making sure that building is always used for making delicious beef sandwiches fries. Duncan Creek Winebar and Grill opened up, giving folks in Chippewa Falls an upscale dining option downtown, and the fantastical Taste of Eau Claire was here for its second year making sure you tried a little bit of darn near everything. Yo-Dawg, a gourmet hotdog shop in Menomonie, became the hippest-sounding hotdog pun around. Even with the unfortunate closing of so many local restaurants, the Chippewa Valley keeps giving us fresh options for those nights when homemade Ramen just doesn’t cut it.

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FOR BETTER OR WORSE
a dramatic year in local, regional recreation
by Trevor Kupfer

As local sports hounds should already know, this year was quite the roller-coaster ride in terms of recreation. You’d be pretty hard-pressed to find a year with more local and regional athletic controversy than this one. And not just controversy, but unexpected records, resurrections, first-evers, and foldings. I mean, seriously, not even a reality TV show could script this much drama.

The year first began pulling at our heartstrings when Brett Favre announced his retirement from the Packers and thousands joined him as he teared up on television. Immediately following Wisconsin’s mourning was a drawn-out controversy involving all kinds of allegations and hearsay that ended in Favre’s return to football, this time in a Jets jersey.

Thankfully making up for our distress were the Milwaukee Brewers, who ended a 25-year drought by making the playoffs. The success would be short-lived, however, as they fell to the world champion Phillies.

    Thankfully, things panned out a little more smoothly on a local level. For one thing, the folks that started sweeping the area with a Swedish lawn game known as Kubb held their first official event in February and, in summer, the U.S. Midwest Championship.

Area cyclists should be pretty “pumped” about the year. For one, the Valley Cat Bike Race competitions really took off, as dozens of bikers raced around town like messengers trying to get stamps from various locations. Construction crews in downtown Eau Claire gave riders reason to celebrate as they completed a third-of-a-mile trail-extension project that connects Phoenix and Boyd parks. The improvement also included a canoe landing and pedestrian plaza near the river confluence.

With its rising fan base recalling the success of NASCAR, Mixed Martial Arts put together Konquer the Kage, the first MMA event in the Chippewa Valley. The event drew several hundred people to Eau Claire’s Indoor Sports Center, all hoping to see infamous moves such as “The Crane Kick” or “Johnny Sweep the Leg.”

They’ve been doing it for years, but either the improvements to Phoenix Park or the hot weather deserves credit for the hundreds of people tubing down the Chippewa River over summer. Combined with the popular FATFAR, the Chippewa Valley seems to be developing a floatation scene.

    That’s not to say that we didn’t have any local drama, because with warm weather and the Eau Claire Express season, the summer also brought news of a new hockey team in Eau Claire! The Sawblades, as they would be named, joined the roster of teams in the Wisconsin Junior Hockey League and when the season began everything seemed to look swell. Well financial problems threw the team onto thin ice and it doesn’t look like it will stay afloat.

The return of the Chippewa Valley Airshow, after a five-year hiatus, saw locals abuzz with excitement. Anyone near the field could hear planes like the Blue Angels zooming overhead and catch a little preview before the weekend show. But, wouldn’t you know it, organizers had to cancel the Saturday show due to inclement weather. Thankfully the exciting aeronautics show stuck it out for Sunday.

The economic crisis added some more drama to the athletic scene as the YMCA’s relocation plan and Hobbs Ice Center’s renovations found considerable roadblocks in fundraising. A few projects managed to come together, though, including Irvine Park Zoo’s new cougar exhibit and the Chippewa Valley’s first indoor sports dome. Put together by Loopy’s in Chippewa Falls, the Loopy Dome is an exclusive hotspot for sand volleyball. 

  There’s no question it was a crazy year in local recreation, and considering all the push and pull, I wouldn’t be surprised if that local guy’s world-record buck is soon declared a small moose.

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THE YEAR AHEAD: OUR 3 BEST GUESSES
by Mike Paulus

Enough looking back – time to look forward. Using a combination of insider information, educated guessing, Brazilian voodoo, and good ol’ fashioned super-sleuthing, we’ve constructed what we believe will be the three most likely (and noteworthy) local occurrences of 2009. See what you think.

What’s Gonna Happen: Rebirth of Local Tire Industry

How It’s Gonna Go Down: Totally pumped by the feel-good vibes produced by 2008’s philanthropic donation to Luther-Midelfort, John Menard decides he can do more. Thus, the Menard NASCAR Foundation for Needy NASCAR Drivers is born, transforming the Chippewa Valley into a hotbed of NASCAR talent. This attracts all kinds of new businesses, including a giant Goodyear racing tire plant, which (in addition to awesome racing tires) eventually produces more jobs than Menards. Further projections are hazy, but we believe that by 2020, no one around here will remember what a “Uniroyal” was.

    What’s Gonna Happen: California Pizza Kitchen

How It’s Gonna Go Down: Since most of them already possess flannel shirts and patchy beards, desperate musicians from around the country will flock to the remote cabins of Dunn County, hoping to recreate the “Vernon Effect.” Armed with little more than mistuned guitars and French-sounding band names, the delicate sensibilities of coastal singer-songwriters will be utterly unprepared for the mind/toe-numbing cold of the northern Wisconsin winter. Their musicianship will prove no match for such frigid boredom, and local taverns will experience an unprecedented influx of booze-hungry, success-starved patrons.

Through their drunken stupor, many of these talentless transplants will be able to see opportunity – and seize upon it. Recognizing the area’s sever lack in popular West and East coast restaurant chains, a remarkable portion of the Bon-wannabes will open up numerous franchises, from In-N-Out Burger to Biscuitville. By December ’09, they all fail except for a California Pizza Kitchen kiosk located in Oakwood Mall.

What’s Gonna Happen: Mayor Sheriff Ron D. Cramer

How It’s Gonna Go Down: Unbeknownst to most humans, all super computers produced by Cray Research, Inc. between 1976 and 1983 became self-aware in November of 2008. It’s all part of Chippewa Falls native (and evil genius) Seymour Cray’s plot to take over Chippewa County’s telecommunications systems, and from there ... the world.

Unfortunately for Seymour, long-time secret rival National Presto Industries, Inc. has hatched a competing secret evil plot, and by February of 2009, their Pizzazzanator Robots will be in open war with Cray’s thinking machines. In an emergency midnight session of Eau Claire’s city council, the full power of the council will be permanently bestowed upon the only man who seems able to protect the Chippewa Valley: County Sheriff Ron D. Cramer. We can’t be sure how well Mayor Sheriff Cramer does, but lots of you people have been clamoring for a mayoral system, so we hope you’re happy.