Wow. Last month, ultimate fighter/mixed martial arts enthusiast Jamison C. Klair was in a River Falls tavern. His friend was passed out at the bar (my guess: gallons of Michelob Light), when someone gave him a Wet Willy. So naturally, Klair promptly kicked the bejezzus out of three burly locals, knocking two of them out. Then he left and has not been seen since. The Leader-Telegram quotes court records:

• Klair, who has a professional fighting history with mixed martial arts participation and promotion, hit Cudd in the jaw area after Cudd reportedly put a wet finger in the ear of a friend of Klair's, who was asleep at the bar.
• Cudd, who was turning away from Klair at the time of the punch, briefly was knocked out. He received a cut lip and required several stitches for a head wound.
• Berg was knocked unconscious for about four minutes and required six stitches for an upper lip cut after being punched in the face by Klair outside the tavern. Smith also was hit in the face before Klair took off his shirt and challenged anyone who wanted to confront him.

Klair is charged with two felony counts of “substantial battery” and a misdemeanor count of battery, and a warrant is out for his arrest. When found (probably shirtless and pissed), he could serve up to three years in jail … basically for taking his work home. Zing!