Above: Eau Clairians, shown here being cold like it’s no big deal.

You've no doubt seen this little trivia tidbit floating around the internet in the past few weeks, posted to Facebook by your aunt or touted on the local news: Eau Claire is ranked as the 5th “coldest city in America.”

Data-crunching website Niche posted a list of the nation’s 50 frostiest cities, studying wintertime low temperatures for burgs with a population of 50,000 or higher (using their 30-year average monthly low temperatures for December through March). And with an average low temp. of 11.9°F, Eau Claire comes in at number 5.

But who cares? We already know it’s cold outside. And we could probably have made a reasonable assumption that all of the cities in the top ten are pretty damn cold, especially since ALL of them are in Wisconsin, Minnesota, and the two Dakotas – where I’m pretty sure their license plates say Cold Yet Desolate.

So let me direct you towards a slightly more useful list-based blog post about cold weather. Mental Floss dug up 11 Obscure Regional Phrases to Describe the Cold and I really think many of these descriptors need to be more widely used. That’s why I stepped outside today and yelled, “It’s colder than the hinges of hell out here! Jeez!” And later I told a coworker, “It’s cold as Blue Flujin outside! According to Herman Melville, that’s where sailors say fire freezes.”

Because I’m an informative guy to work with.