So, according to this, the Leader-Telegram had a reporter spend an hour and a half driving around to six local stores looking for Salvation Arm bell ringers. I’m assuming they were also doing something else because that seems like a long time to hit six stores in a town where it takes less than 20 minutes to drive from one end to the other. I’ll also assume that the Eau Claire Salvation Army’s phone (834-1224) was disconnected or something, so the L-T couldn’t call and talk about a shortage of local bell ringers.

But why don’t we talk about something important? The L-T article points out a genuine need for bell ringers around these parts. They’re actually using paid ringers during peak donatin’ times so they don’t miss out. They’ve even got some volunteers just not showing up. So maybe you and your friends would like spend some time people-watching while ringing a little bell for a good cause. Just a thought.

I was a bell ringer one Christmas my senior year of high school – at Ron’s Castle Foods. It was a pretty cool experience overall, apart from one old dude who made it a point to stop and tell me that “I was here yesterday and you didn’t say ‘Merry Christmas’ to me! I’ve been bell ringing for 30 years, and you’re supposed to say ‘Merry Christmas!’” And then he stormed off, leaving a wide swath of BAH HUMBUG in his wake.

I’ll never forget that old jerk and the lesson he tried to teach me that day: Don’t worry about the people at home watching NASCAR on their huge televisions – spend time yelling at high school kids spending a whole weekend freezing their ass off for charity, with absolutely no training on bell ringing etiquette.

Merry Christmas, you old dink.