While most of the Chippewa Valley is content to talk about our recent rash of bank robberies – here, here, and here – Chippewa.com, aka The Chippewa Herald, has taken the bold move of focusing on a different rash of harrowing incidents: bear-related car crashes. Apparently, there’s been a whole bunch lately. They say…

• [Mike Gappa, a university bear studies supervisor, retired from the Wis. Department of Natural Resources] was taken aback after hearing of five bear-vehicle accidents taking place in Chippewa County in less than a week.
• “Five bears in a week? That’s a lot of bears,” said Gappa, who retired from the DNR in 2003. Read more.

Let’s repeat that quote from the bear expert: “That’s a lot of bears.” The article goes on to list five separate bear-vehicle collisions happening between October 23 and Oct. 27 – indeed, a lot of bears. Gappa goes on to explain that in this time of year, once bears have fattened up for hibernation, they take a “long walk” to find a more southern sleepy time spot. So basically, he says there’re a lot of big fat bears wandering around the state right now, probably getting pretty groggy. But there’s no mention of why there might have been such a concentration of accidents compared to other years. We can only assume the Bear Apocalypse is looming. And soon, they will attack in our sleep.

At any rate, if you’re driving, keep your eyes peeled for big tubby woozy bears. Hitting a 400 pound animal is probably not a pleasant experience.