The holidays can be the most joyous time of the year, but they can also be the most stressful. From financial worries to scheduling conflicts to long-simmering family feuds rearing their ugly heads, this time of year is full of anxiety triggers. How can we cope? The key, experts say, is setting realistic expectations. Jennifer Wickham, a licensed professional counselor at Mayo Clinic Health System in Eau Claire, offered these suggestions in a holiday-themed column:

1. To deal with financial stress, set a budget for gifts, travel, and other expenses – including unforeseen ones – and stick to it. “Remember that overspending now invariably leads to regret and difficulty later,” she wrote.

2. Make practical travel plans. “The pressure of feeling that you have to be in two, or sometimes even three, places at once is enough to take the fun out of any event,” Wickham wrote. Sometimes gatherings have to be before or after a holiday. “Remember that it is the time spent together that is most important and maybe more so than the date on the calendar,” she wrote.

3. When it comes to difficult relationships, we are only responsible for our own behavior. “Our friends, family and loved ones also have this responsibility,” she wrote. “We do not have control over whether they make the choice we want.”

4. Remember that negative emotions don’t take a vacation this time of year. “Having a realistic expectation that the holidays won’t banish our negative reactions or emotions can help us cope with the stressors that arise and allow us to have an enjoyable time with those we love,” Wickham concluded.