The Rear End

Dressing the Part

from yours truly, Self-Consciousness in Wisconsin

Mike Paulus |

Recently, a man named Wang Xiao Kang, a resident of Shanghai, startled his co-workers by walking into the office dressed for action. Was he wearing his very best, most expensive power suit? Oh, yes. Yes he was.

In fact, he was wearing his remarkably accurate – and homemade – Mark I Iron Man suit. Now, we’re not talking about the classic red and gold Iron Man suit you should all be familiar with after a couple of blockbusting Robert Downey Jr. movies. Nope, fortifying Wang’s iron-clad nerd cred, he decided to spend months creating his own, 110-pound Mark I Iron Man suit – the first robotic exoskeleton (according to the recent movies) cobbled together by Tony Stark while being held hostage by some nasty terrorists. 

And then wear it to work. 

When the man decides to let his nerd flag fly, he mounts it to the hood of the Knight Rider and roars it off the edge of a cliff. On Mars. Metaphorically speaking.

I applaud Wang Kang. Not only for his amazing name, but also for his amazing passion and total lack of self-awareness. When the man decides to let his nerd flag fly, he mounts it to the hood of the Knight Rider and roars it off the edge of a cliff. On Mars. Metaphorically speaking.

There’s an important lesson to be learned from Wang Kang, one the entire Chippewa Valley should heed: loosen up and stop being so self-conscious.

I say this as one of the Chippewa Valley’s most self-conscious residents. I say this as someone who wishes he could be so bold as Mr. Wang Kang.

If it wasn’t for my nagging self-consciousness, I’d probably be wearing fantastic homemade costumes to work as well. I’d have one for every day of the week. On Tuesdays I’d ride my bicycle/74-Z speeder bike replica to the office wearing full-on Gandalf the White Wizard robes (and beard) with a freaking samurai sword strapped to my back. Make that two.

As things are now, I lack the pluck and courage to go through with it. I also lack the funds, sewing skills, and patience to make my own geek suits. I’m also pretty lazy. But I digress.


Things might be different if I lived in a larger, more flamboyant city like San Francisco or New York or San Francisco. But here in Eau Claire, one can’t walk down the street wearing the simplest of Lothlorien traveling cloaks without people stopping to take your picture and email it to all their friends. 

By the time you read this, the wonderful Chippewa Valley Renaissance Faire will have locked its noble gates for the season, but places like this are refuges for people who love living out their fantasies, if only to the degree of a dress rehearsal. Renaissance Faires are great, big, awesome excuses to be whoever you want to be. You don’t even need to go all out and strap on a suit of armor. There’s usually a couple of dudes walking around in jeans and a t-shirt with an enormous dragon-slayin’ sword strapped to their hip. There’s usually someone in a hoodie and fairy wings walking by. Some people dress for historical accuracy. Some people just want to wear some damn elf ears.

No Brand Con, our local animé convention serves a very similar purpose, but for a different crowd. I wish we had more events and places like this. Maybe one day their fans and attendees would start to spill out into the streets. Maybe enough people would stay costumed long enough to be seen by the outside world, and maybe it wouldn’t be so weird. 

Life in this part of Wisconsin would be very different if we all, as a group, released even 10% of our Sconnie self-consciousness. But let’s be honest. As much as I’d like to eradicate self-conciseness from the face of the earth (with the flick of a magic wand!), I’m not so sure about the wisdom of eliminating weirdness on the whole. After all, Wisconsin wouldn’t be Wisconsin if we didn’t rubberneck at the weirdos. And being weird wouldn’t be so much fun if it was, you know, normal

So instead, we have blindingly brilliant beacons if inspiration like Mr. Wang Kang clunking down the hallway in a fan-cooled Iron Man Mark I suit on his way to the break room. We don’t necessarily need a whole world of Wangs. Maybe we just need a lot of people trying to be a Wang.

You know what I mean.