Athletic Aesthetic

Autograph Awkwardice

a guide to avoiding uncomfy silences when asking for celebrity signatures

Luc Anthony |

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I'm outta ink, kid.

You watch the athlete on TV as a kid, idolizing the person, declaring him your favorite sports player. You would love for the chance to meet him. Then, you get that opportunity. You wait in line for an autograph, excited that you, small-town western Wisconsin resident, will get to know a sports celebrity, get to say “Hi,” get to chat for a bit, maybe become best buds.

You get to the front of the line. You fumble your words, say something a bit odd, and he signs with perhaps a hint of a smile, perhaps not, and you’re done. You have this odd feeling of “That didn’t go right,” and you feel bummed-out. This was your one shot to meet that guy you watched play for your favorite team for years. You blew it.

I brought my Twins cap – with a Tim Laudner 1987 signature – to a 2001 ex-player autograph game day and discovered that day’s signer was ... Tim Laudner, then handed him the cap to sign.

Has this scenario ever happened to you? If you have ever had the chance to meet a sports (or any) celebrity, you have likely had some variation on the situation I described.

We as sports fans are awed by the achievements and fame of the people we see in the media. They tend to take added stature because of their high-profile visibility, and even more so when we decide we like that particular person because they play for our team, or since we like their ability, character, and/or style.

When you find yourself in a situation where you can meet the athlete, you expect that they will be outgoing and friendly. We like that person from what we see in the media and don’t know them as a person, so we have no reason to think they would be anything other than an open, engaging personality. However, we easily forget that celebrities are people, too. All sorts of people: the outgoing ones, the introverts, the surly types, the easily distracted, and others. My personality may not mesh with theirs when we meet. When the match does not go well, you feel like you made a poor impression.


The reasons for the awkwardness are plenty: there was the time I asked former Brewers Gorman Thomas and Jerry Augustine for autographs at London Square Mall without having any idea they were on break from a signing session. Or the time I brought my Twins cap – with a Tim Laudner 1987 signature – to a 2001 ex-player autograph game day at the Metrodome and getting in line to discover that day’s signer was ... Tim Laudner, then handing him the cap to sign next to his signature.

I came away from both events thinking these celebrities thought less of me as a person, but through years of dealing with famous folks through my work in the media, I have come to realize that they have almost certainly forgotten who I am within moments. It is nothing personal to them, and they also likely would not remember you in a good way if you had a successful interaction.

I got a chance to meet Jack Morris earlier this year at the Eau Claire Baseball Hall Of Fame Induction Dinner. I’ve matured to the point where I think I have sufficiently honed my celebrity interaction: quick introduction, a quick ask for what you want (i.e. autograph, picture), then get it done briskly, thank them, and move on. I found someone I knew standing near Morris, made the proper eye contact with Jack and made a quick request for a photo, handed my phone to the guy I knew, posed for a couple shots and was done. Success. No awkwardness. Just like my Rick Springfield encounter in Chippewa Falls last summer. I think I’m getting good at this.

If you find yourself with that chance to meet your sports hero, follow the aforementioned tips. Also, avoid trying to ask too much of a question, but a touch of small talk is OK. Brevity and smiles are the key. Only approach them if you think they would be expecting a fan to talk with them. Do not take too many pictures ... and make sure your camera works! Say a quick thanks and be done. You will come away thinking you just became friends with your sports idol. Even if they already forgot who you are.