Special Section

What kind of student were/are you?

a pop quiz, hot shot

V1 Staff |

>> Scroll to bottom for scoring! <<

ONE
When the class decides to play a prank on the sub, what transpires?
A. Your sense of integrity impels you to put the kibosh on it
B. You laugh along with the others, but secretly feel a twinge of guilt
C. You’re the culprit who put the tack on her chair

TWO
If the teacher disappears for an indefinite amount of time do you...
A. sit at your desk and wait patiently for instructions
B. make a paper airplane to entertain you for a while
C. sneak into the locker room of the opposite sex

THREE
If you are handed a pink slip, that harbinger of detention, what is your reaction?
A. Tears of remorse and deep grief.
B. Dang! I got caught.
C. Add it to the wall of shame at home.

FOUR
Your attitude toward grades is:
A. If I get a B in gym, it will taint my pristine GPA.
B. A marker of diligence more than smarts. Not the end-all be-all.   
C. They’re a crock.

FIVE
What is your attitude toward Senior Skip Day?
A. My inner uprightness crumples at the thought.
C. It’s not something I was planning on, but if my friends skip, I’ll skip. Maybe play some disc golf.
D. Isn’t that every day?

SIX
It’s the last day. Your biology teacher lets the class suggest ideas and vote on an activity. You suggest ...
A. throwin’ in an educational film on the stunningly beautiful and wild orca
B. going on a mini-field trip to Dairy Queen
C. burning old homework papers & worksheets in the field out back

SEVEN
You need to read a book and write an essay for English. You choose ...
A. Catcher in the Rye with a 25-page research paper on how it helped shape the modern hipster movement
B. The Old Man and the Sea because it’ll only take a day
C. Of Mice and Men because how different could it be from Ratatouille or Fievel Goes West?

EIGHT
Your science teacher says you can do whatever you want for the Science Fair. You choose ...
A.  to complete Nikola Tesla’s plan for a particle gun
B. that vinegar and baking soda volcano
C. to forget about it until the day of, make the solar system out of wire hangers, and forget two planets

NINE
Your assistant principal has let you in on a secret: she’s rigging the student council election so you can be on there by default. You choose to ...
A. turn her in to the authorities
C. take a spot where you’re not important … I don’t know, something like treasurer
D. blackmail her for her parking spot, five reams of overhead projector transparencies, and a pack of gold stars

TEN
You totally forgot the brown-bag lunch your dad packed you, so you improvise by ...
A. explaining the situation to Delores, the head lunch lady with whom you’ve shared many rousing conversations, who spots you a hot lunch for the day
B. nibbling on what scraps your friends are willing to part with
C. stealing some underclassman kid’s and making fun of him while you eat his PB&J with the crust cut off and cold chicken noodle soup with stars

>> SCORING <<

A = 1 point
    B = 2 points
    C = 3 points
    D = Fail

10-13 points
You are a straight-A student with an uptight pretty-two-shoes personality. You probably wear sweater vests.

14-17 points
You are an overachiever, spending too much time studying and not enough having fun. You probably wear something sensible based on the day’s weather.

18-21 points
You’re a B-student and a bit of a follower, which isn’t necessarily bad, because you’ve got a lot of friends, but you can have original thoughts, too, you know. You wear the same ironic t-shirts as your friends.

22-25 points
You’re not bothered by your C-student mindset, because you’ve got a mean streak and adults-can’t-run-my-life way about you. You don’t care what you wear; they’re just clothes.

26-30 points
You’re the naughty kid, who might do a stint in juvie if you’re not careful. You rotate wearing the same week’s worth of dirty clothes, most of which are black.