“Aren’t you afraid of getting attached?” This seems to be the question that comes up most often when you tell someone you are a foster parent. My answer to them is always, “Getting attached is the best part.” I began my foster parent journey almost a year ago. I decided to do this because I have always wanted a large family. Plus, I couldn’t imagine what it feels like not to have a place called home. Being single, I wasn’t sure if they would accept me as a foster parent. But within a week of meeting with the licensing coordinator, I knew this was something that I could do and was meant to do.

It was on that first day that my life changed forever, in a way I never imagined possible. On May 22, 2009, which was a Friday, my first TFC (Treatment Foster Care) child came to my home for the weekend. Neither of us were really sure what do think of the other; she had been in and out of foster care for five years and I was the “newbie.” The first night was pretty quiet. We ate dinner and settled in to watch a movie, talking only to break the silence every now and then. The following day, we went to the mall to have lunch and walk around together. While we were driving home, just listening to music as we still didn’t really know what to say to one another, her cell phone rang.

A friend called to inform her that one of their mutual friends was going through a serious crisis. My heart sank as she told me what the call was about. My first thought, “Really God? You couldn’t break me into this easily?” When we got home, she began to frantically call her friends to see if she could find out more information about the situation. A calm panic set in and I thought, “How do I help her get through this when I barely remember her full name?”

We sat together, her lying on the sofa crying, me sitting on the floor beside her, both silent. Since I had gone though a similar experience, I was able to be there for her and let her know that I understood how she felt. It was at that time I realized why God had brought her into my life. My own experiences had not been in vain – they had given me the tools to help get this child through a tough time.

I remember looking at her and saying, “This is a very difficult thing to go through, but you are in the perfect place, with the perfect person to help you right now.” We sat and talked for hours that night. As I told her my story, I could feel my own pain lifting, and it was being replaced by a close connection to this child.

    I am happy to say that she now lives with me permanently and we’re starting the adoption process. She is just one of five children that have come into my home this year. I can tell you similar stories about each one. Each child has taught me so much about myself, and although I don’t see some of the others (due to reunification, placement in a treatment center or a runaway), I think of them all every day and I thank God for allowing me to know each of them, and for allowing me to be a parent to them.

At Lutheran Social Services Foster Parent training, they talk a lot about planting a seed. You may not see the good you do, but you have planted the seed. I can say that each of these children has planted a seed in me, making my life so much more than I ever anticipated it could be. Am I attached? Of course I am, and I wouldn’t trade any of the heartbreaking moments. Not every child will stay in your home forever, but they will stay in your heart forever, and you will stay in theirs; that I can promise.

    For more information on being a foster parent call LSS at 552-2439.