1. A 17-year-old kid stole a rifle from his mom’s gun cabinet and pawned it for tickets to a Vikings game. In related news, a different 17-year-old kid stole a pack of gum and pawned it for Detroit Lions tickets.

2. Someone stole a gumball machine from a local business. What’s worse is the proceeds went to charity. Police may want to look for someone who’s going around town stomping on Labrador puppies and spitting in baby strollers.
If you’re in Mumbai, more than a dozen chickens running loose on Main Street isn’t that strange. Around these parts, yeah, that’s pretty weird.

3. An Eau Claire man started his truck recently, stepped out, and gave it some time to warm up. But, oh no, there it goes right into the garage door. Whew, that’s funny. Next on America’s Funniest Home Videos, some kids hitting their relatives in the crotch. Stay tuned …

4. Wisconsin had nine accidental shootings and stray bullets hit three local homes and a car during this deer hunting season. But, hey, it was still the third safest in state history.

5. The most-commented story on the Leader-Telegram’s website isn’t in response to the stabbing on Clairemont or even the smoking ban. It’s on a dognapping. Not that it should come as a surprise; I mean, you decide: a pack of Parliaments or a blue-nosed puppy?
Throwing dog poop from your apartment balcony onto your neighbor’s car gets you a fine. Throwing your shoes at the president, however, gets you viral fame and trendy T-shirts.

6. Why would a Minnesota man come to Elk Mound to steal a $45,000 horse trailer, you ask? To steal horses in Colorado, of course!

7. A motorcycle that passed a police car at 93 mph “passed four to five cars at speeds reaching 95 mph and looked back at the deputy at least three times before he eventually stopped.” Why is that important? Like, if he would have said, “No, officer, I didn’t notice your ridiculously bright lights,” does that mean a lesser penalty or something?

8. When your idea of a fun weekend involves damaging 98 mailboxes and vehicles, maybe Santa should bring you an Xbox or something.