The Rear End

I’m a Twig Fest Fan

quaint, small-town festival knocks the snark right out of me

Mike Paulus, illustrated by Beth Czech |

A few weeks ago, as the earthy fall colors earthily spilled upon the colorful autumn landscape of earthiness, I found myself driving the whole dang family to Durand for something called “Twig Fest.”

This was on purpose.

Now, I like twigs as much as the next guy, but a whole fest of ’em? I had my doubts. My wife Shannon had read about the woody event and thought it might be cool. At any rate, she said it’d be a nice drive, what with all the colorful leaves and all. I agreed. And thus, it was on.

We got up on Saturday, hit the farmers market, and round about noonish, hit Highway 37 for our wonderful autumn drive towards Durand. Now, when I mentioned the bursting fall colors, I meant they were a-burstin’ everywhere but the stretch of road between Eau Claire and Durand. It was mostly green with patches of hazy yellow. Not so scenic.

But we had fun ogling the handful of little five-building, one-bar villages along the way. We also had large cups of coffee on board, and that’s always awesome. By the time we were passing Durand’s Panther Drive-In (right across the street from a Dairy Queen), I was wired, jittery, and friggin’ pumped for some white hot twiggin’ action.

So. Twig Fest. There’s a craft and home décor shop between Durand and Eau Galle (Oh! Golly!) called “Twigs-n-More.” It’s situated on a lumber yard, where most of the fest took place. The owners of the store (and lumber yard) had pulled together local business to sell stuff and raise some money for some local organizations.

It was basically a mini festival with different craft/antique/Pampered Chef vendors, food, beer, music, hayrides, and – oh dear lord yes – bingo. On a kitsch scale of “not so kitschy” to “all up in your face kitschy,” I’d give it a rating of “big ribbon-wrapped barrel of kitsch with the word ‘cherish’ hand-painted on the side.”

Before we left, I had asked Shannon if, even if none of the stuff at the festival was all that cool, we can at least make fun of it, right? She said no.


As we strolled into the greater fest area (the twig arena of fun, if you will), a band I couldn’t see was finishing a fairly tight rendition of Ring of Fire. That wasn’t so uncool. And then they immediately launched into a super-ultra-tight rendition of Achy Breaky Heart. With vigor.

So I readied myself for a few hours of unspoken ridicule and stifled giggles amid dirty looks from Shannon. A lot of the crafts were of the “Northwoods” variety, and a bunch of it looked straight out of a church basement bizarre. Tables were heaped with all sorts of doodads with bows and twigs and tiny hand-stitched scarecrows hot-glued in place.

However, many of the crafty items were pretty sweet – made from weird old machinery parts and rusty bits of metal. Some really creative and clever thought went into their construction. Sure, a lot of it had stuff like “Friends are like a cozy sweater” written on it, but whatever.

So within 15 minutes, I felt like a total jerk, because despite my doubts, Twig Fest was actually pretty cool. The “band” was actually two dudes singing karaoke – and they were awesome. Besides a bunch of Top 40 New Country, they nailed epic songs like Piano Man and Turn the Page, not to mention a big ol’ rock blocks of Sir Neil Diamond.

Sitting with my family at a folding table beneath a blazing blue autumn sky in an old lumber yard, drinking a Budweiser, eating a Polish sausage, and listening to a pair of proud part-time karaoke troubadours belt out Brother Love’s Traveling Salvation Show … I just couldn’t stop smiling.

The best part was how everyone was having such a good time. They just enjoyed being together. It was total small town group happiness with pie and hamburgers and painted pumpkins and a guy selling homemade maple syrup. Sure, it was kitschy and goofy, but that just made it even more fun.

Shannon and I and our little daughter also went on the best hayride of our lives. And deep in the woods outside of Durand, Wisconsin, the autumn colors were actually bursting. And they were really, really pretty.