Oh crap.

OK, here’s the scenario.* You’re at a gas station buying mint gum and Doritos when – SHAZAM! – a robbery is in progress. Since said robbery happening a mere five feet from you, you can’t simply whip out your cellar device, call 911, and shout, “Help! There are thieves!” So what should you do? I will tell you.

SHA-BOOM! Just dial TIP411, text the word ECPD followed by a space, and then the text a message such as, “HLP! THIEVES! HELP! I can’t buy Doritos at the gas station!” Afterwards, the police will come and save you.

This amazing vision of the future will soon be a reality in Eau Claire. According to the Chippewa Herald, you will soon be able to send anonymous texts to the local fuzz,  ratting out local criminals, n'er do wells, and rapscallions. Take note:

Anyone with a cell phone can send an anonymous tip to Eau Claire Police by dialing TIP411 (847411), texting the word ECPD followed by a space, and then the text message.

Apparently, there is no way to identify the sender unless they actually text, “Hi, I’m Bob Smith and I’m watching a crime go down.” And the ECPD’s fancy pants new tattle-text technology has caught the attention of their Chippewa Falls counterparts. Chippewa Falls Police Chief Wendy Stelter says she’s interested in the system. She says their humdrum telephone tip line rarely gets used.

*And here's a different senario.