In a story that basically constitutes my wildest, most magical fantasies coming true (minus Ferris Bueller becoming a real person and being my best friend), the Chippewa Herald reports that Bloomer’s Main Street Café – along with the Main Street Pie operation – is for sale. That’s right, for a mere $850,000 you can take over a small town restaurant legacy, some adjoining rental property, and West Central Wisconsin's pie empire, thus gaining accesses to pie nirvana. In case you’ve been living under a rock at the bottom of the friggin’ Pacific Ocean, Main Street Pies (40 varieties, baby) are sold in multiple restaurants, Gordy’s County Market locations in Chippewa Falls and Eau Claire and at 40 Kwik Trip locations in western Wisconsin.”

And in case you didn’t know, I love pie.

According to the Herald, “Donnie Stoik started the Main Street Cafe on Jan. 7, 1981. ... Stoik ultimately expanded it into what had been the Ideal Movie Theater next door. Stoik said it’s time for him to do something else.” If you don’t have $850,000 burning a hole in HUGE pocket, the eatery, rental properties, and pie business can be purchased separately. The café seems as successful as the pie business, so there’s some pretty big shoes pie tins to fill with sweet success. Good luck to whoever takes up the challenge.

I don’t know about you, but I found the following line from the article awesomely hilarious: “Stoik said the pies are available from Hayward to Arcadia, and from River Falls to Wausau.”