Since tourism season is soon upon us, and in response to a similar project from Explore Minnesota, those wacky reporters at the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel asked workers at visitor centers in Milwaukee, Kenosha, the Wisconsin Dells, Hudson and the Wisconsin Department of Tourism to list off the strangest questions they've heard. A sampling:

• • "Will we see cows when we come to Milwaukee?"
  • "Can you give me more information on the Milwaukee Public Museum's 'Dead Sea Squirrels' exhibit?" (The nutty thing is, it's "Dead Sea Scrolls.")
  • "Where is the apartment where Laverne and Shirley lived?"
  • "What time does the Wisconsin Dells open?"
  • "Where can I dispose of large quantities of men's cologne?"
  • "Where can I see a 'pooping' crane?" (We sincerely hope that's a "whooping" crane.)
  • "Where is Bugaboo?" (Baraboo?)
  • "My sister was visiting me and she got a ticket for parking in front of my house overnight. What are we going to do about it?"
  • "Where's the best place to pitch a tent in Milwaukee?"

I would also like to know the answer to that cologne question. Read more.

Tonight: ain’t nothing like a hot night of Scandinavian couples dancing! Scandinavian couple dancing includes waltz, polka, schottische and other dances that involve specific steps and turns to the very beautiful music. All dances will be taught and beginners are welcome. Wear low-heeled shoes. It’s free, it’s at Christ Church Cathedral, and it’s at 7pm. Details. And more details.

Bluegrass Jam – show up and jam. The Ditch Lillies host, with Emily Huppert on upright bass and Kevin Louden on banjo and dobro. (Shari's Chippewa Club; Sun/6pm)

The 2010 Eau Claire Figure Skating Competition will feature more than 500 skaters competing in free skating, short program, compulsory moves, jumps, spins and artistic skating. It includes Championship events in the Intermediate division. Medals for 1st-5th given in all events. Sunday's competition features Synchronized Team Skating, a contender to become a new Olympic event. (Sat/8am-7pm/free; Sun/9am-12:30pm/$2; 2009 photos)

RAWK: Ronald Raygun + Canyons of Static + The Heart Pills | Ronald Raygun is Eau Claire's original post rock pioneers and they are back for revenge. West Bend's Canyons of Static deliver ambient and epic sentimental rock influenced by Brian Eno, Bowie, and Joy Division. New Album now available. The Heart Pills will be kicking things off at ten with their brand of Campfire-Tin-Can-Folk-Punk. (Bottle N' Barrel; Sat/10pm/free)

MUSIC/MAGIC: ‘Sorcery and Romance’ Opening Reception | The Chippewa Valley Symphony brings back its remarkable, annual exhibit of area art students reworking classically great compositions to the Arts Center Gallery. This year, Eau Claire's elementary schools interpret Paul Dukas' Sorcerer's Apprentice into visual art. Refreshments will be served. (State Theatre; Sat/6pm/free)

TALK: Michael Perry "Fundamental Change: From True Believer to Fuddled Agnostic" | Drawing on readings from his books and other writing, author and humorist Michael Perry will discuss his being raised in an obscure fundamentalist Christian sect, how he arrived at his current agnosticism, and how handing your six-year-old a copy of Being and Nothingness is officially insufficient parenting. (UU Congregation; Sun/10am/free)

Saturday: See it all. Sunday: As well.

In this episode: Chickens might be clucking their way into Eau Claire and lots of former and current locals join musical super group GAYNGS. Also, we give away a $50 gift certificate to vinyl shop Longplay Replay and 2 tickets to Micon Cinemas. (If you'd like to enter a contest, go here.) This episode is supported by Deborah Becker of State Farm Insurance.

Watch it on Vimeo.

Saw this over on As Seen In WI.com – apparently, the “You talkin’ to me?” guy is going to play Sir Vince Lombardi in a movie to be appropriately titled “Lombardi” and released in 2012, a week before the Super Bowl that year.

De Niro’s Lombardi film will chronicle the years in which he “transformed the Green Bay Packers from the NFL's worst team to league champions.” Eric Roth is the screenwriter (he wrote “Forrest Gump”). It’ll be produced by ESPN Films, which says:

• The story's narrative arc spans from 1959 when Lombardi was given his first opportunity to be an NFL head coach, taking over the small-town Packers, then the worst team in the NFL, and runs through his transformation of a group of young, talented but undisciplined losers into five-time NFL champions. Also, the story highlights the long-standing rivalry that existed between Lombardi and legendary Dallas Cowboys coach Tom Landry, both of whom were assistants on the New York Giants team that lost the 1958 NFL Championship game.

Through some additional interneting, I see that Packer owner president(!) Mark Murphy says some of the movie will probably be shot in Green Bay. Sans awesome film incentives, of course.

The Water Street Business Improvement District has replaced their plan for a 5th Avenue Beach Launch (for tubin' and such) with a 5th Avenue River Lookout. After heeding advice from the city police and fire departments, this new development plan will exclude a pathway to the water. “The plan didn’t really mix with the typical activities of Water Street – the excessive drinking, especially,” says Lisa Aspenson, BID member. “You can still get down to the water, but the idea is that, without stairs, we’re not inviting them to.” BID is planning on raising funds to build a deck-like structure with a railing and seating attached to serve as a scenic river lookout point for bicyclists on the trail. To further improve the look of the area, BID hopes to surround the structure with some new plantings – replacing trees that are of little value with nicer (possibly native) varieties. While they have yet to get approval from the police department, Aspenson says they’re confident that law enforcement will endorse the plan as a safe alternative. The plan will come before the city’s Parks & Waterways Commission on March 26, and based on their reaction could immediately move to the city council, and start construction in early summer.

A lookout sounds like a really cool idea, but so did a beach launch. As for the safety/drunk-idiot-in-the-river factor of either structure, we'll leave it to you.

Hey, the city’s about to add more traffic cameras, but not the kind that capture evil people running red lights in their fancy imported sports cars. The cameras will monitor cars and control the redness and greenness of the lights, increasing safety and hopefully improving the Awesome Traffic Flow Efficiency Equation (ATFEE). This, by itself, is both boring and uninteresting news.

But, as the Leader-Telegram points out, it marks a new direction in the city’s traffic sensor technology, and I gotta be honest, the old tech sounds really damn cool. Most of the city’s lights are controlled by underground wire coils that produce a magnetic field. When your car/scooter/hovercraft enters the magnetic field, the street knows you are there, and the lights change accordingly. Sure, these new cameras are more effective and less prone to environmental damage, but .... underground magnetic field-producing coils! Very retro-future-ish.

But hey, safety counts for something, I guess. One of the intersections to get the new cameras (this summer) is Washington Avenue and South Farwell Street. The plan is to make the intersection more pedestrian/bicycle friendly because it sucks pretty bad right now. The L-T interviewed Aaron Ellringer from Just Local Foods (located on that corner), and he said, "People can't send their kids to the store to get eggs because of the traffic at this corner."

The city also plans to remove the concrete island on that intersection, ending the “right turn no stop” freedom of cars turning from Washington onto Farwell.

The initials “EC” are frequently used to represent this fair city. They’re also used in conjunction with other initials to indicate groups within the city, like the recently formed ECLUCK. While the part-acronym cleverly suits the purpose of this group, it should be emphasized that ECLUCK’s main interest lies in what those first two initials represent for its residents. “E-CLUCK” stands for Eau Claire Leaders for Urban Chicken Keeping. The group is still in its infancy – more of a discussion than an organization. ECLUCK does have a Facebook page, which links the keeping of urban hens to progress toward sustainability, much like community gardening. The group’s first obstacle is an Eau Claire City Ordinance that reads: “No person, firm, or corporation shall keep, feed, or breed any domestic fowl.” According to one of the members of the ECLUCK discussion, Paul Kaldjian, “The ultimate goal is to have it a permissible activity in the city with the city’s full support.“ Kaldjian touted the health and economic benefits of “controlling your own food.” An educational benefit also exists. Kaldjian stated, “We’re becoming advocates for farmers by teaching our kids where food comes from.” At this early stage, the group seeks other ‘like-minded’ people. Those who feel EC could stand for “evolving conventions” can join the discussion at ECLUCK’s Facebook page.

Previously ...

ArtsWest 31, the library's annual juried art show, features 55 works by area artists. The pieces were chosen from more than 150 pieces submitted for consideration. Selections for this year's show were made by Alan William Nugent, owner and curator of the Abode Gallery in Stockholm, Wisconsin. (L.E. Phillips Memorial Public Library; normal library hours)