The best one-liners from kids’ letters
kids say the darnedest holiday-related things
So he takes it and reads it and give me some presents and my sister and my brother and my mom and dad and my aunt and ungle and cousin and friends and all my neighbor and all the people in Earth and New York.
– Kalicia Vang, Sherman Elementary
It would be good and we would have a party. P.S. with jelly bens and sherbert – Logan Kinnard, Sherman Elementary I would make chicken. It would take ten hours to cook.
– Ryan, Lakeshore Elementary
When we came back it was midnight. But Santa, he used magic to keep me awake.
– Abraham Balding, Putnam Heights
After breakfast he plays Wii, then he plays golf with his elves.
– Dale Stahlbusch, Lakeshore
After he will clean the frost off his sleigh from the few nights it has been out. He will have some of the servants run a bath for his reindeer. The reindeer will use snowflake shampoo.
– Klaire Provos, Locust Lane
Now he is going to bed at 8 with his little bunny.
– Stephen King, Manz Elementary
Santa gets on his winer jacket and explore at 9 tell 10:15.
– Cal Wojahn, Manz Elementary
After his nap with Puppypaws, Santa plays 100 rounds of chess with Puppypaws. Puppypaws wins 40 games, and Santa wins 60.
– Kyle Everson, Putnam Heights
The table would be long enough to see 16 people.
– Max Kagarise, Locust Lane
Later he tests out his sled by going down the biggest hill in the North Pole. It works good! So he has to climb the hill and by the time he gets up the hill he will need to take a nap.
– Ayden White, Locust Lane
If I were in charge of making a holiday dinner I would make cupcake and stuffing. I hope it will be good. I really hope. If it wasn’t good I would be mad. I still will have a great dinner.
– Kaylie, Locust Lane Elementary
Then his wife goes to cook meat for breakfast.
– Janthida, Locust Lane Elementary
But Santa Claus saw a house on fire. He used his magic and set out the fire and send the rest of the presents to the world.
– Gabriel Williams, Putnam Heights
Then in the middle of the night he would get some pie from the refrigerator. Then he would go back to bed and snore, and snore, and snore.
– Ben, Lakeshore Elementary
Why does he deliver presents? If he has ninja elves the ninja will be quicker than Santa so he must let the ninjas deliver the presents for him and Santa can go to bed and rest.
– Johnny, Locust Lane Elementary
En then a polla bars came tors us. Thay throw snowballs at the panda bars.
– Blade, Putnam Heights Elementary
Then Santa’s dog Snowy ran after me so I fed him. He is a good doggy.
– Kaitlynn Buckwalter, Putnam Heights
He pulled out the lettuce because he had never tried it before and it tasted bad with the turkey and cheese.
– Ilona LeGore, Manz Elementary
He does this for a month and then he takes a break for month. He does this over and over until he dies.
– Aden Hallquist, Sherman Elementary
He said “Merry Christmas to you all!” he said with a smile on his happy joy face.
– Gracie, Locust Lane Elementary
I think Santa goes to his giant swimming pool with his reindeer for as long as he wants. Then he goes on a ride in a mustang.
– Julia Drath, Manz Elementary