Young Person Jargon Translator

for adults that find notes, and suspect something is afoot

Sample Note Translation

Sup Shorti,

You lookin’ straight up phat bangin* with all dat bling, baby. Sorry for gettin all krunked last night. My bad. I know you think I was all up in yo peeps’ grill about callin the po po, but whatevs. Ain’t no thang.
Anyway, G2G. TTYL.

Hit me up.

XOXO
BTDTGTTAWIO
MTFBWU

What is going on with you, female significant other?

You look completely, totally, without lying, pretty hot and tempting, and attractive with all of that flashy jewelry. Sorry for having an excess of energy or alcoholic beverages last evening. I apologize for doing something incorrectly. I know you believe I confronted your associates/cohorts/friends’ teeth or facial area regarding contact with police authorities, but you are wrong and I concede to agree to disagree. It is not a big deal.

Anyway, got to go. Talk to you later. Give me a call on your mobile or cellular device.

Hugs and kisses.

Been there, done that, got the T-shirt, and wore it out.
May the force be with you.

*Not to be confused with “Bangarangin,’ “ which is an adjective for a person resembling a sexy Peter Pan.

BONUS: Common Secret Meeting Areas and the Activities Probably Going Down There

The Boys Room: smokers are testing out the new brands they stole from their parents

Under the Bleachers: girls are avoiding the pep rally and ripping on the cheerleaders

The Roof: trying to find that Nerf Vortex ball that got up there last week

The Monkey Bars: boys are fighting to prove whose dad would win in a fight

Shop Class: kids are gluing stuff together and throwing nails up the suction chute

The Computer Lab: funneling government money into untraceable offshore accounts and playing Oregon Trail

The Woods Behind School: black market deals on Yikes pencils, Trapper Keepers, and Lisa Frank sticker sets

The Boiler Room: planning mutiny

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