Opening Letters

A Bar Cry

the void to be filled in our area’s bargoing experience

Trevor Kupfer |

As I get further from my college years and closer to my thirties, I’m starting to realize that going to bars is more of a chore. Not just Water Street; most locals are sick of that scene after they graduate. I’m talking bars in general. It’s not because I don’t like to drink, can’t stay up late, or those kids play that rock music too darn loud. In fact it’s quite the opposite; I want to go to bars. I’m just getting bored, and want establishments to try harder for my patronage, not just expect it.

Having some taps and a rail full of sauce doesn’t cut it for me anymore. I need places that create an experience, with unique things to do and interesting places to inhabit. I admit that I’m full-fledged A.D.D. when it comes to bargoing. I can’t just sit still and imbibe alcohol. I need activities like pool, foosball, darts, bean bags, touch-screen games, bowling, karaoke, trivia, live music, and unique one-time events. I want mental and/or physical stimulation. And, as such, I’m getting kind of tired of our taverns.

Case in point: New Year’s and Halloween. These two indoctrinated annual drinking events rarely have anything special going on for your patronage. It’s assumed that people over 30 go to a friend’s house for a party, and those under 30 go to bars to get wasted and don’t care about anything else. This isn’t true, and may very well make people go to other markets in search of an experience.

Is it that much to ask for a place to book The Zombeatles (from Madison) or build a haunted house in the bar or something? What if one local place dropped something of their own on New Year’s? After time it could become a tradition. Can you imagine everyone gathering on Water Street to watch the dropping of the Gigantic Water Balloon  of Sweet Chippewa River Water, or the Paul Bunyan-Shaped Piñata Filled with Truffles? Just a few ideas free associated in 10 seconds.


    I don’t mean to call bar owners lazy. My family has owned bars, and I know it’s no picnic. It can be a soul-sucking venture with all the burdens of any small business, plus really tough hours and being forced to watch everyone have fun while you work. But even so, we managed to infuse special touches to add flare.

We attached a custom-made “wheel of fortune” above a ceiling fan and painted an arrow on one blade for a friendly gambling game. On Sundays (often during the final day of golf tournaments) we made a mini golf course in the bar. We occasionally played a game involving throwing Frisbees at tappers that is too complicated to explain. The point is, we made it exciting for our regulars and brought in new clientele because of word of mouth.

That’s what I want from my Eau Claire bars, but can’t seem to find.*

And, sure, it’s easy for me to sit up on my throne and bark orders – “Make me a bar that stays open after close and serves the random things I crave like French toast or a table filled with nachos and has a giant Jenga requiring a spiral staircase” – and quite another to actually make them happen. But if bar owners read this and say, “Then you open a place like that,” it’s an understandable reaction, but a bit of a defensive cop out.

Why can’t our area have a watering hole where you can go chill on the rooftop or a big deck over the river? Why can’t our area have a really good combination bar and pizza place, or a bar and movie theater? Why can’t our area have a tavern with craptons of board games and skee-ball?

The simplest way to put it is that bars are no different than any other business genre, in that creativity often means success. That’s especially true when it fills a niche or void in the marketplace. People in this area, like myself, are waiting for it, and are prepared to come in droves. And we’ll be thirsty.

    * If things like this do exist, maybe I don’t know about it, in which case contact me at trevor@volumeone.org!