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Winter is for Teens:
Snowball Fights

“the perfect snowball” and a war strategy

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To a teen, a snowball fight means war. War that involves soaring balls of snow, strategy, and pain. And it’s time to start preparing your heavy artillery: the snowball. The art of making the perfect snowball depends on what results you are looking for.

Laughs
These snowballs are light and explode softly and beautifully on your victim. The best snow for this is powdery. It is difficult to pack, but if you warm it with your body heat or scoop snow near a heat source (like a house), packing is still possible. Or use a spray bottle. Gloves work better than mittens for this. These snowballs are good for young children, grandparents, and the sickly.

Sting
If you are aiming to make your opponents’ eyes water, and there is a slightly wet and heavy snow, pack it tightly into small balls and aim for tender, yet covered areas of your victim. This is where knowing your victim comes in handy …

Bruise
These snowballs will not only leave a mark physically, but also psychologically. Heavy, wet snow is best for these weapons. Pack into very tight, hard balls with visible lumps. The lumps are key for adding that extra punch that leaves a nice, deep bruise. Aim for thinly covered areas or skin.

Blood
These snowballs are the black diamond of the battle field. Make a hard snowball from wet snow with ice shards and small rocks inside of it (preferably sticking out). Add some red food coloring for intimidation. Chuck as hard as you can, and aim for skin. To protect yourself from such attacks, shields are great. Try a trashcan lid or lunch tray.

Near-Death
In war, preparation is necessary. Form snow into a ball inside your house where it will melt a little bit. Then place snowballs into freezer. If all goes well, you will have a basket of deadly ice balls. Aim for the head.

Choose your teammates based on strength, speed, brains, bravery, loyalty, and snowball-making quickness. Choose your position carefully. Natural barriers such as trees, rocks walls, or ditches are desirable. Looking down on your enemy from the top of a hill or deck is awesome, too. Dump a huge snowball or pile of snowballs on unsuspecting victims below. You are going to need some sort of fort to keep snowballs in and hide in or behind (cars, playground equipment, sheds, etc.). If snow conditions are wet, build a nice snow wall with large snowballs.

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